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Last week I wrote about this Na’vi greeting
from the movie Avatar. It’s “oel ngati
kameie” and it means “I see you.” Not
just, “I see you over there,” but “I understand your soul.” I’m still chewing on this, so I thought I’d
write more about it. Many cultures have
words like this, the essence of which means “the Divine in me acknowledges the
Divine in you.” Namaste (Sanskrit) and
aloha (Hawaiian) are just two examples.
How well do you see yourself? If you’re like
most people, you probably have a few blind spots. I’ll bet you can list most of your negative
traits pretty quickly. There are
probably a couple of negative traits that you don’t want to admit to, however. When it comes to listing your positive traits,
you will probably miss more than a few.
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We’re willing to see the good in others, but
we can be so hard on ourselves. This inability to really see yourself causes
lots of heartache in life, especially in romantic relationships. Whenever there’s an aspect of your
personality you don’t own, it will “own” you.
The aspects of your personality you don’t own are collectively called the
Shadow. They offer incredible healing
potential when you’re willing to turn on a light and explore them. It can be challenging to do, but in my
experience it’s definitely worth it.
Owning your shadow will help you to love yourself more fully. Until you can love yourself more, you don’t
have much chance of being deeply loved by another.
What can you do to see yourself more
clearly? Here’s one tool (adapted from
Debbie Ford’s The Secret of the Shadow).
You’ll need at least 30 minutes of uninterrupted quiet time to complete