How to Have GREAT Sex




/* Style Definitions */
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";}

Last summer a team of scientists published a
paper in the Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality.  The team had interviewed both individuals
having great sex and sex therapists to determine the qualities necessary for
what they called “optimal sex”.  They
identified eight key factors:  being
present, connection, deep sexual and erotic intimacy, extraordinary
communication, interpersonal risk taking and exploration, authenticity,
vulnerability and transcendence.

What’s so important about this paper?  Most research into human sexuality focuses on
dysfunction and how to resolve it.  This
paper was all about how to make a good thing great.  What’s interesting to me is that chemistry,
physical attraction, and orgasms were not in the top eight components.  Those are the three things that most people
think of first when they think of great sex, right?  Those things are important for a hot
one-night stand, but if you want outstanding sex on a regular basis, you have
to go deeper.

More from YourTango: 5 Ways Abandonment Issues Can Ruin Your Relationships

More from YourTango: 50 Shades Of Grey: Do You Like It Rough?

Let’s review the eight factors necessary for
truly GREAT sex.

1.      Being Present.  This means that when your partner is talking
to you, you are listening.  You’re not
planning what to say next.  You’re not thinking
about work, or about having sex later. 
You are listening to her.  It
means that when you are being intimate, you are focusing on your partner’s body
and his reactions to your touch.  You
look into his eyes and really see him. 
Being present is unbelievably sexy.

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Recent Expert Posts

3 Ways to Define Who You Want To Be

Sometimes the best way to know who you want to be is to notice how you react in the here and now.

Multi-Ethnic Senior Women In Swimming Pool

Make New Friends, Keep Good Friends

Once you have a clear idea of the kinds of friendships you would enjoy, you can decide to create mor

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>