Five Ways to Have Fun After Forty

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Five Ways to Have Fun After Forty

   I hear it all the time:  “I’m so bored!”  I expect to hear it from my teenager, but I’m talking about women—friends and clients—in their forties complaining about being bored with their relationships.       
     The biggest challenge women in their forties face with having fun in a romantic relationship is that they’ve probably known their partner for a long time.  Familiarity breeds, if not contempt, boredom.  It’s so easy to fall into a rut, but it can be almost as easy to climb out.  You’ll have to change things up a little, but you don’t need to totally overhaul your life.  Little things can go a long way, especially when it comes to putting the spark back into your love life.
Here are my top five ways to put the fun back into your relationship.
1.       Lighten up.  Your body doesn’t look like it did when you were twenty.  So what?  Everyone ages, even supermodels.  Don’t hold yourself to impossible standards when it comes to your appearance.  I’m not saying to let yourself go; in fact you can still be in great shape in your forties and beyond if that’s a priority for you.  Whatever shape you’re in, learn how to be comfortable in your own skin.  Sexy is a state of mind, not a dress size.
2.       Lock the bedroom door… from the outside.  Have sex in any room other than the bedroom.  The change of scenery will work wonders.  If you have children, try to do this when they’re not home. J
3.       Use props.  A can of whipped cream, a blindfold, or even something as simple as a pair of high heels, can add an added dimension of excitement and fun into a relationship.  I recommend the old Nike slogan:  just do it.  Don’t talk about it in advance, or ask what he’d like.  Use your imagination and go for it.  I guarantee that even if you feel a little silly or awkward, your man will go wild over the new experience.
4.       Make a bucket list.  Not for things you want to do before you die, but of the things you want to do together in the next year.  Sit down together and create the list, and be sure to include at least a couple of spicy things.  I’ll bet you’ll be surprised by some of the things you each come up with.  Then start doing them!
5.       Shut off the television.  We are creatures of habit, but as mature creatures, we have the ability to change the habits that don’t serve us.  Television serves as a barrier to intimacy.  It’s easy to hide behind the news or your favorite show.  When you shut the television off, you have to communicate with the other person in the room.  Designate one night a week a TV-Free Zone, and use it to talk instead.  Talk about your dreams, your fears, and your memories.  Reminiscing is a great way to reconnect.  Engage in a dialogue rather than two running monologues; ask for input and elicit feedback from your partner.  If you don’t consciously create time to do this kind of talking, it usually doesn’t get done.  And that’s when things start to get boring.     

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