This might sound simple, but it actually requires courage and a willingness to be vulnerable to your partner. Most people in our culture are terrified of true intimacy. It requires us to be naked, spiritually and emotionally, with ourselves and our partner. Most people can’t even handle being that intimate with themselves. It’s too vulnerable, and we’ve been conditioned for too long to censor our real thoughts and feelings to subscribe to cultural norms. We use fantasy, pornography, and affairs to ensure we don’t have to become too intimate with anyone.
Used properly, fantasy, pornography, and even affairs can help to increase intimacy. The stage has to be set properly and both partners have to be conscious participants, but sex within long term relationships can be an amazing way to help us grow emotionally and become more authentically ourselves. It’s not for the faint of heart, and its intention is not just to make better sex, although that’s a delightful side effect. Sex, handled in this way, becomes the crucible for raising our consciousness. It teaches us about ourselves on a deep level, uncovering the hidden language of our self-talk and bringing it into the open for transformation. It makes us more authentically ourselves, and from that place of authenticity we can make empowered choices about our lives.
Imagine how much better the world would be if more of us began using orgasms to achieve enlightenment. Who wants to play?