Last week someone suggested I write about
the essence of connection. To me, this
Na’vi greeting is the essence of connection.
We all want to be seen for who we really are. Not who we’re pretending to be, or who we
think we should be. We want to be seen
not only for our minds or our bodies, but for our hearts. And yet, we are afraid. When someone looks deeply inside our souls,
we get a little squirmy. We’re afraid that
they’ll be disappointed by what they find.
So we put up barriers; in fact, we’ve been erecting barriers since we
were small children. We have so many
barriers that sometimes we can’t even find our way into the heart of our own
All of us want to experience a sense of
connection. Yet there is a core fear we all share. It is the fear that when someone looks deeply
into my soul, they will find that nobody’s home. They will find that the spark of Divine light
that exists in everyone is not present in my heart. We have become so disconnected from our
hearts that we actually believe this might be true. It’s kind of egotistical if you think about
it, but there it is.
In our search for connection, we attract
someone who already sees our light. In our
search for connection, we attract a romantic partner who can help us
deconstruct the barriers we’ve built around our hearts. This partner will pit our deepest fear
(there’s nobody home, aka I’m not lovable) against our deepest desire (for
connection, aka someone to love me). So
begins the dance of romance. And we
think it’s about sexual chemistry and romantic love. It’s no wonder so many people end up hurt and
confused! If only they understood that
it’s really about regaining connection:
first to our own hearts and then to each other.
Oel ngati kameie. I see you.