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I recently went to the Museum of Sex
in NYC and saw an exhibit about the sex life of animals. Of the many fascinating facts I discovered,
the most surprising was that of all the animals scientists believed to be
monogamous, none really were. Many had
long term socially monogamous partners, but the sex was a free for all. Using DNA testing, scientists determined that
up to 97% of all offspring in supposed monogamous relationships were created by
EPC, or extra pair coupling.
Then last week Newsweek ran an article about
polyamory, featuring a group of two women and three men who were managing to
have a number of relationships between them. One of the women lived with two of
the men and was legally married to one of them, and the other was married to
the third man. They spoke openly about
what was necessary for it to work, and I was struck by how conscious they all
seemed to be.
It got me thinking about consciousness,
sexuality and relationships. Most of us
are not ready for the honesty, transparency and humility that are necessary to
make polyamory work. When I say
humility, I mean being able to look at your own jealousies and insecurities
with a gentle eye and a willingness to speak your truth with love. It takes a really conscious person to be
willing to expose themselves in that way.
The group interviewed by Newsweek spoke at length about the insecurities
that arise and how everyone deals with them.