We’ve bought into the ideas that we have to
be dominant and do everything that men can do.
We’ve bought into an idea of equality in romantic relationships that
causes a lack of sustainable sexual connection because it insists that we deny
and hide our inherent nature. The
current model for romantic relationships also asks men to deny their inherent
nature. It demands that men be more nurturing
and more acquiescent than most would be naturally (the stereotypical Nice Guy). When men were asked to take on more
traditionally feminine qualities, the backlash began. If you look at most sitcoms and many
commercials today, men are often portrayed as bumbling idiots. Nice guys finish last, but men haven’t been
given any other options.
I propose a new model for romantic
relationships. In fact, I propose this
model for all relationships. This is not
an original proposal; pioneers in sacred relationships have been talking about
this model for ten or fifteen years now.
I propose that it come away from the fringe of pioneers and enter into
the consciousness of mainstream America.
Women need to return to their inherent
nature. Our inherent nature is one of
receptivity, softness, collaboration, communication, and creativity. Indeed, the most powerful creative force in
the Universe is a woman’s ability to create another human being. Our strength lies in our willingness and our
ability to be open hearted and vulnerable.
Men also need to return to their inherent
nature. Their inherent nature is one of
direction, single pointed focus, doing, fixing, and thinking. Their strength lies in their willingness and
ability to stay focused and stable, even in the midst of the feminine creative
force whirling around them in all directions.
Essentially, the inherent nature of the
masculine is one of hardness. The
inherent quality of the feminine is softness.
Men don’t want to encounter hardness with their hardness; they want to
come into softness. Sexual polarity,
which creates the spark of eroticism, exists when two opposites encounter each
I suggest that we uncover and embrace our true
natures first, and from that place work to attract a partner who balances our
natural traits and tendencies. This is a
huge topic, and I’ll return to it next time.