Communicating authentically will always improve a relationship, even when what we communicate is not something the other wants to hear. Communicating from a place of vulnerability will rarely improve a relationship. The only time communicating from vulnerability helps is when you’re communicating from a place of authentic vulnerability, and that’s a difficult skill to learn. Therefore, it’s important to be able to discern where you’re coming from… ideally before you open your mouth to speak.
Here are some signs you are communicating from vulnerability:
1. You snap back a quick response, like a knee-jerk reaction, without thinking
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2. You are more concerned with getting your point across than listening to what the other person is saying
3. You feel attacked by what the other is saying (also a sign that the other person may be speaking from vulnerability)
4. You say things to hurt the other person or make them feel badly.
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If you’d like to cultivate your ability to communicate authentically, I have these suggestions: