It happens to nearly everyone: at some point in a long term relationship, you realize the spark has gone out of your sex life. The love is still there, but if feels more like a comfortable friendship with an occasional roll in the hay. Sex becomes predictable, and therefore stale.
If you’re a normal, red-blooded woman, this will not do. It’s sometimes enough to trick you into thinking it’s your fault; that your libido isn’t what it used to be. In most cases, that’s just not true. Women peak sexually in their forties; we’re finally willing to love ourselves as we are and to heck with what anyone else thinks of us. This attitude is a strong foundation for the best sex you’ve ever had.
These five ways to spice up your sex life need just one thing: you have to be willing to take some initiative. I can guarantee that 97 out of 100 men will be falling at your feet, frothing at the mouth with eagerness to please you if you try any of these suggestions. Lock your inhibitions in the closet where they belong, and enjoy experimenting!
1. Toys: A sure-fire way to get your man revved up is to let him watch you pleasure yourself with a vibrator. If you’re on the shy side, you can start just before he’s due home and let him “accidentally” walk in on you.
2. Games: Kama Sutra has a beautiful line of edibles and games, or you could play something straight up like strip poker. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know how to play poker, as long as you know how to strip.
3. Role playing: Have you been a bad girl lately? Do you want to see how much fun it can be? Or maybe you want to play the nervous virgin? Much of the fun in role playing is in talking about it with your partner in advance; setting the stage, so to speak.
4. Lingerie: Every man I know is a sucker for sexy lingerie, even if all he wants to do is rip it off you. Walk into the bedroom in some lingerie and high heels, and he’ll be putty in your hands. Nothing is too smutty when it comes to lingerie; consider it dress up gear, and maybe it’ll even spark more role-playing.
5. Talk dirty: Do you want to have more passion while “in the act”? Tell him what you like, and don’t be shy about it. You don’t even have to use explicit words (although they will act like a shot of adrenaline in his you-know-what). You can say things like, “I love it when you lick me there,” or “I love it how you fill me up like that.”
None of these tips are a replacement for a deep heart connection, but a funny thing happens when you use them. Although they’re totally physical, they usually make your man feel more connected to you emotionally. They shake up the routine and he suddenly sees you in a new light, which is very attractive to him.
For the piece de resistance, try keeping your eyes open as you kiss and even as you make love. There is a deep heart connection that occurs when a couple is willing and able to be that intimate. It might take a few tries, and it certainly takes a willingness to open yourself to your partner and show your vulnerability. It has the potential to bring your relationship to incredible heights. Enjoy the practice!