5 Ways to Be a Better Girlfriend

Most of my blogs are directed at women who are in a relationship and are trying to make it better.  For a change of pace, I thought I’d address those women who are looking for a new relationship.  How can you avoid the mistakes of past relationships?  How can you maintain your sense of yourself within a new relationship?  What do men really want in a partner, anyways?  It’s a lot to cover in one blog, but I’ll give you the big picture answers.

1.      To avoid the mistakes of past relationships, you need to get clear on the patterns and the lessons they brought you.  To help you get clear, try this exercise.  Take a piece of paper, and across the top write the names of the last three men with whom you’ve had significant romantic relationships.  Underneath their name, write a list of the reasons you were attracted to them when you first met.  Underneath that list, write a list of the reasons why the relationship ended.  (this exercise is adapted from Hindsight by Maryanne Comaroto)  Look for similarities in the relationships to find clues about your romantic patterns.  Are you attracted to successful, flashy men who treat you with disrespect?  Maybe you’re attracted to nice guys who end up boring you to tears.  Whatever it is, see if you can figure out your romantic pattern.  Once you see the pattern, you can figure out the lesson.  The lesson is typically found when you say, “I’ll never let that happen to me again.”  Whatever “that” is for you is your lesson.  If you haven’t had that epiphany yet, ask yourself this:  “what do I feel when I’m first with a new partner?  How can I give that same feeling to myself?”