Everyone who's anyone knows that having lots of great sex makes you feel better. Having a healthy, regular sex life is good for the body, mind and the spirit. Recent studies by Harvard University and iVillage have brought this to the public's attention again, but we've known about the positive benefits of sex for decades. And yet, somehow there are lots of people ignoring the advice.
In August I wrote about some practical ways you can take responsibility for your own pleasure, but the reality is that most people probably already know what they need to do, and they're still not doing it.
The mind is the biggest and most powerful sex organ in the human body. Hidden inside the mind are the real reasons we don't do the things we know we can do to feel better. Subconsciously, we have limiting beliefs that make us act—or not act—in particular ways. These things make sense to our subconscious mind, but they usually don't hold water when they're brought out into the open.
What are some of the things your mind tells you that prevent you from having regular sex with the one you love?
1. It tells you you're not attractive enough—that when you lose 10 pounds, or buy the right lingerie or start exercising, then you'll be ready. How To Love Your Breasts During Sex
2. It tells you you're not lovable enough—to attract a partner or make the one you have satisfied in bed.
3. It tells you sex is dirty. Our American culture in particular is sexually repressive and we've all integrated beliefs that make us think sex is dirty.
4. It tells you not to trust your partner—women especially need an emotional connection and when you feel disconnected to your partner outside the bedroom, you're unlikely to open your body to him. What Makes 77% Of Women Jealous?
5. It's disconnected from your body so you don't even know what feels good to you. If you don't know how to make yourself feel good, you can't teach someone else.
The trick to changing your behaviors is to uncover and change the hidden beliefs that make you act the way you do. If you don't change the beliefs, your subconscious mind will repeatedly sabotage the behaviors to get your outer world to match your inner world. That's the real reason those ten pounds keep finding you, why you don't exercise and why you're not having multiple orgasms several times a week. It's not the kids, or your job, or your partner's work routine.
To really make this advice work, you need to follow these action steps to complete today's challenge.
Right now, I want you to:
Make a commitment to yourself to change. Write the commitment down and keep it posted where you'll see it every day. "I commit to understanding and changing the limiting beliefs that keep me from having great sex."
Within 7 days I want you to:
Journal, using free association to uncover all the stories your mind is telling you that prevent you from having a healthy, regular sex life. Don't censor yourself and write openly and honestly. Here you're working on exploring the deeper beliefs you hold, maybe from childhood, that are keeping you stuck; many of which you may not genuinely believe any longer.
By the end of the challenge I want you to:
Using the information you learn journaling, create new stories for yourself and start acting "as if" you believe them (eg: having sex 7 days in a row, even if you don’t want to, creates new connections in the brain—the more you do it the more you want to do it).