Last weekend another twenty couples or so spent three intense days in our LovePath 911 workshop. Nearly every couple there was in the process of divorce. Quite a few came only to get a better deal in the divorce, and told us quite boldly that they had no interest in saving their marriages. We thanked them for their honesty and did the workshop anyway.
We may actually witness a greater than 75% success rate from that group.
It’s amazing what happens when in the right context and environment people begin to learn more about themselves, their spouses, and their situation. Their view of marriage alters. Their perspective of their future changes. They begin to remember why they fell in love with each other, and to their amazement begin to feel the stirring of that long-lost love.
What Should I Do To Save Or Reconcile My Marriage?
In my conversation with a gentleman last night, I asked him if he would be willing to try to save his marriage. He said he was but he doubted if his wife would be willing. Then, after a pause, he asked how he could find out if that were even a possibility with her. I suggested that if he truly wanted to reconcile his marriage, he not fall for the "buy this book or these tapes and everything will work out" ads he will see. It takes work to put a marriage back together and usually that requires other people to help.
One thing is for sure; his marriage will be over unless he does something to try to change that. He has nothing to lose in attempting reconciliation. A third party who has experience with troubled marriages can help prepare you both for difficult conversations with each other and can be a neutral source to help curb selfish actions that are suffocating the relationship. That third party, if they're gifted and experienced, will understand the need to provide you with the environment to express frustrations and issues so that healing can be achieved without hurt feelings, silent treatments and further damage.
Just as with other issues in life such as our health, automobiles, raising children and managing our finances, seeking a professional third party can be very helpful. Be intentional about saving your marriage. As with other areas in life, hard work and perseverance usually pay off.