Lies compound with time and become harder to maintain. Plus, they destroy emotional intimacy. That's one of the reasons that affairs destroy a marriage. Sure, the physical or emotional unfaithfulness is traumatic, but the lies that have to be told in order to hide the affair are often the beginning of the end because the lies finish off whatever intimacy is left. And before the husband or wife knows it, they think they're "in love" with the lover because they feel more closely intimate to that person.
So, begin with a commitment to being honest with one another. I didn't say be rude or for you to volunteer hurtful information to your spouse. You don't have to be brutal, but be lovingly honest. Honesty demonstrates in a practical manner how much trust there is in the relationship.
4. You are married to the in-laws. You may think you only spoke vows to one person, therefore the other family members are incidental guests at the wedding. Wrong! The three families (wife's, husband's, and the new one) will be intertwined as long as you live. So be smart. Don't say stupid things that will come back to bite you. Be kind to every family member.
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Sometimes some families have been so dysfunctional for so long, it is a real challenge to bring health to them. But work hard to have a good relationship with your spouse's family and you'll likely strengthen your marriage. Being kind and respectful to your in-laws is often warmly appreciated by your spouse because of the love he/she has for them and prevents, or heals, years of resentment. What you invest in building relationships with your in-laws will pay great dividends over the years.
5. Commit to stay. While there is no guarantee in marriage, it is safe to say that most marriages will survive if both the man & woman will commit to stay with each other. As simple as it sounds, this is one of most basic, foundational principles of marriages that last. They are committed to stay with each other. So commit to work out problems. Commit to seek the best for the other. Commit to grow in love.
The five principles listed above will help restore a marriage and provide a foundation for a new one.
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Provide the best family environment for yourself, your children and your spouse by committing to your marriage in the good times and in the bad. It's not too late.