How To Save A Marriage After An Affair


How To Save A Marriage After An Affair
Is marriage over after an affair? I can tell you that it doesn't have to be. Here's how to save it!

Expect that spouse to react with anger. However, making sin have strong negative consequences is the right thing to do.

  • The church should practice discipline, though in our day and age that hasn’t nearly the effect it had in Bible times. It’s just so easy now to walk down the street and go to another church. However, if done in love and compassion, it still may have the needed effect.
  • Practice intervention. (If you need more information on how to do this, see the Intervention Document.)
  • Convince the straying spouse to take one last action before ending the marriage. Sometimes the abandoned spouse does this by offering a concession such as “I’ll give on this point in the divorce if you do this.” Sometimes a friend, church leader, or even the person’s child may convince him or her that for conscience sake s/he should do one more thing to see if there is any hope.
  • In my weekend turnaround workshop for marriages in crisis, we have many couples who come because someone convinced the abandoning spouse to attend for conscience sake or to get some concession. Over nearly a decade we’ve witnessed one seemingly hopeless marriage after another turn around during that weekend. 

    Whether you use our services, your own counselors, or someone else, the message is the same. We MUST NOT give up on marriages because we think that either spouse is beyond rescuing. Don’t give up on the power of God and what He can do to change someone's heart if only we do our part.

    In the words of Winston Churchill, "Never, never, never give up."

    Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

    Let's make it
    FB official
    Article contributed by
    Advanced Member

    Joe Beam


    Joe Beam is an internationally respected marriage and relationship expert. He founded Beam Research Center, an organization that provides marriage help to hurting couples through a powerful workshop called Marriage Helper 911. For more information, click here.

    Location: Franklin, TN
    Credentials: Other
    Other Articles/News by Joe Beam:

    Lover or Spouse - Who Should I Choose?


    “I’ve never loved anyone the way I love her. I never knew I could feel like this. So deep. Fulfilling. Amazing. I can tell her anything; my dreams, my fears, my strengths, my flaws.” John spoke slowly but fervently as he explained his relationship with Sheila . It was not his idea to visit with me; he had come because another friend asked him ... Read more

    He Cheated; Should We Get Divorced?


    Since 1994, I have worked with thousands of marriages affected by infidelity. Sometimes the straying spouse is emotionally enmeshed with her paramour and intends never to return. Other times, the unfaithful mate feels remorse and asks for forgiveness and reconciliation. When that occurs, the hurting partner often struggles with deciding whether to divorce or ... Read more

    Should You Divorce An Unfaithful Spouse?


    "Everybody in my family tells me to divorce her. My mom will be furious if I don't. She called Shelly some pretty bad names. Called the guy she was involved with worse names. She insists that I file immediately." "Why haven't you?" I asked. "I don't know. I'm hurt. Deeply. But we had fourteen years together. My ... Read more

    See More

    Recent Expert Posts
    Spa Retreat

    The Pursuit of Peace

    Peace is a journey not a destination. It represents a gift you give yourself.

    Hug Text

    Julianne Hough about the Demise of Her Relationship with Ryan Sea

    Having one foot out, not wanting to ruffle feathers,+trying to be perfect can devastate your bond.

    chilly walk

    5 Ways to Stop Self-Sabotaging Your Dream

    We all have a dream. To do the very thing that we love to do that makes us feel fulfilled, ...

    Ask The Experts

    Have a dating or relationship question?
    Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

    How to find the right pro for you
    10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

    10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

    YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

    10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

    Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

    Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

    Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

    Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

    So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

    Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

    What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

    See more resources>