Why Men Are Settling For Mrs. Good Enough

to the YourTango newsletter!

FIND AN EXPERT
Advanced SearchKimberly SeltzerDr. Erica  GoodstoneJennifer Chappell Marsh MFT Intern #65184
ProConnect

The Disney Myth: Why So Many Women Are Misled About True Love

By . Posted on .

cinderella prince charming
How "happily ever after" sets kids up for heartache as adults.

There are over 100 million single adults over the age of 25 in our country, and for most of them, the thought of being single and dating is analogous to having a red hot poker jammed into their eye. Based on my research, most single women dislike dating and being single. When it comes to finding that special guy to share their life with, many of these women say that there is hope in their heart, but they honestly admit that they are not too optimistic that true love is in their future.

Why do these women feel this way? For many of them it is based on their experience with men and their past relationships. Imagine if you wanted to eat Italian food and every time you went out to eat Italian food you had a bad experience. It wouldn't be long before you started saying to yourself "Italian food sucks." It would be only natural, wouldn't it? And who could blame you? Here you are trying to find a great place to enjoy your favorite food but every time you thought you found "the one," it left you unsatisfied and disappointed. 

Well, isn't that how it is for you with men and your relationships? You want a great guy but after each failed relationship it's harder to believe that true love actually exists, isn't it? Well, it's understandable, and I felt that way a long time ago too. In fact, I have a theory. I call it the "Disney Myth" and it says that the reason most women have a hard time with men and relationships is because they have a distorted view of what true love really is.

Let's think about this. As a little girl grows up, she hears story after story about how she needs to be saved by the prince on the white horse or knight in shining armor. These stories unknowingly paint a picture that in order for a woman to live happily ever, after she needs a man to rescue and save her. She learns that her ultimate life happiness depends on a male hero. 

This storyline exists in most of the Disney movies, including Cinderella, Snow White, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, and Sleeping Beauty. And in the '60s and early '70s, Disney movies played a role in most childhoods. But, as I got older and started dating, I realized that many single women who had grown up in that era had an unrealistic distortion of love and relationships. 

I guess watching my mother love my dad during his four-year battle with cancer made me realize what true love and a relationship was really about. When my dad was going in and out of hospitals, having chemotherapy and wasting away in front of our eyes, I soon learned that true love was so much more than what we had ever been taught or shown. I learned that life was going to throw stuff at you and if both people weren't prepared for it, then the chances of living happily ever becomes a much more difficult aim to achieve.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Joe Amoia

Dating Coach, Matchmaker, Relationship Coach

Dr. Joe Amoia, is the founder and creator of Smarter Dating For Women And The Ultimate Relationship Program. He is also the author of the soon to be published book, Smarter Dating For Women.

Dr. Joe's unique approach to dating and realtionships is based on his 5 Step Relationship Success Formula, The same formula he used to find & meet his wife in less than 90 days.

To receive a copy of his free 5 day mini-ecourse, The 5 Biggest Mistakes Women Make in Dating Men click here

Location: Hillsdale, NJ
Credentials: DO
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women, Matchmaking, Other
Other Articles/News by Joe Amoia:

Dating After Divorce: 5 Steps to Successfully Date Again

By

Okay, so here you are. The papers are signed, the lawyers have been paid and your husband is now officially your ex-husband. As you take a moment to look down the road the thought of dating another man is paralyzing and full of fear isn’t it? There was a time where you were so sure that your ex-husband was the one that you were going to be sharing ... Read more

Can Pornography Cause Mental Illness? [EXPERT]

By

A recent study by British researchers at London's Portman clinic — a national health survey outpatient psychotherapy clinic — revealed that 26.5% of its young patients use porn. And according to The Sun, Britain's top newspaper, this number has dramatically risen from less than 1% in the late 90s. /node/73948 I can just see it coming. ... Read more

3 Signs Which Indicate a Guy is a Keeper

By

Have you ever dated someone and got to that crossroads in your relationship where you were wondering if it was worth going forward? You knew that he was a decent guy. But was he “THE” guy that you want to spend the rest of your life with? And the more you debated this with yourself, the more you drove yourself crazy? Right? The truth is ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Press Conference

DeMistyfy Your Dating: Radio Interview: [EXPERT]

And yes, we spelled it that way for a reason! Listen to this humorous interview of Spike and learn!

Running Woman

Post-Divorce Growth…After They Go, Grow [EXPERT]

Identify your positive changes post-divorce. Make it a growth experience!

No Love

Married and Fighting? It May Signify a Solid Relationship

Married couples can be too harmonious. Find out how much discord creates dynamic relationships.

Have a dating or relationship question?
Ask it here and one of our experts will answer it.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
FROM OUR PARTNERS