4 Simple Acts That Lead To Love In Times Of Grief


4 Simple Acts That Lead To Love In Times Of Grief
Grief events bring up painful wounds of the past. There is no better time than now to stop bleeding

The aftermath of a national tragic event like the devastation at Sandy Hook Elementary brings to life a world of painful wounds.  Based on previous experiences and knowledge people react in three ways. They either get pissed enough to take action toward change using the event to move them toward more life and love, avoid pain becoming indifferent and apathetic, or stay stuck in pain and frustration captive in their own thoughts and behaviors.

Those who are ready to take action ask themselves, “What can I do to help?”  I know what I here to activate change by educating others.  I believe it is critical to educate people back to the soul they were born to be and one of the biggest issues standing in the way is we live in an emotionally illiterate world.

All emotions truly are a choice even in the most painful of times but if we first have the right background information.  We must first be aware of what emotion we’re feeling and then know other emotional options to choose. 

Being emotionally illiterate means living in emotional poverty by recognizing only simple emotions like sadness, anger, and happiness.  People who live in emotional poverty mistakenly think that love and happiness are found outside themselves and when they haven’t met their own needs they punish others by shaming, complaining, or blaming.  These three actions are the “SCaBs” of the emotions.

Sometimes we keep our scabs to ourselves as self-inflicted punishment and the number one indicator that we are not taking care of ourselves first. When a grief event happens or someone rubs one our scabs we cannot take the pain and bleed out into the world subconsciously deciding to punish others. 

If happiness, freedom, and peace is what you want but you’re finding yourself in a constant struggle with people or things like money, time, or events then chances are you have some scabs you need to tend to. 

Death is inevitable and unpredictable.  I know this through my own experiences of losing my husband unexpectedly at 36, pregnant with our third baby girl, to an accident during a routine shoulder surgery.  You know this through your own experiences, and we know this through national tragedies like December 14, 2012 at Sandy Hook Elementary. 

If you’re unaware of what you can do to help bring more love and life to the world I have 4 simple ACTS you can do to become more aware. 

A- Ask.  What do I want?  How do I want to feel?  If you want to breathe easier, laugh harder, and love stronger then you must go within and start observing your own life claiming first what you want to feel. 

C- Check in with your self.  Observe your own actions or emotions.  Are they bringing you closer to what you want or further from what you want?  You will know if you are closer if you are breathing easier.

T- Take personal responsibility.  It is critical to stop the scabs from festering especially in times of grief and there is no time to waste. 

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Jodie Rodenbaugh

Personal Development Coach

Jodie Rodenbaugh


Location: Kansas City, MO
Credentials: CPC, MA
Specialties: Empowering Women, Holistic Coach, Stress Management
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