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Why Second Dates Are A Waste Of Time


Second dates have done little for my dating life but suck up time and dim my spirits. But like an addict, I kept saying yes while convincing myself that it was good for me. Sure that first date was lackluster and the follow up phone call even more so – maybe just maybe – the second date will trump both. And yes, I suspect that somebody out there is protesting, “ That happened to me!” but I am no longer banking on those unexpected odds.

Just this week, I endured an uninspiring second date in which afterwards Mr. Teach Me A Lesson followed up with a continuous round of semi-sweet text messages. Knowing the third time was not our charm, I confessed that romantic feelings were not had by all and I did not wish to waste his time (mine either but I left that out.) To which I received the following instantaneous response:


“I felt the same way but figured I would give it another shot just in case.”


Outraged, I paced around my one bedroom apartment, arms flailing while muttering, “Why waste my time?” And then it hit me. Mr. Teach Me a Lesson articulated exactly what I have been doing on all of my recent second rounds. My ego, bruised and battered, simply did not like to stand on the other side. I decided to hold firm on my shiny new one strike he’s out policy and I can only hope my potential suitors will follow suit.


Are all second dates a waste of time? Of course not, but when your gut is certain after your first that butterflies will cease to exist and chemistry is solely a class you took in high school, don’t settle on a second dose of mediocracy. Your time is more precious than that.

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