How To Bounce Back From A Break Up


How To Bounce Back From A Break Up
Three easy writing tasks that will heal your post breakup heart

No matter what side of the split you are on, break ups invoke the kind of pain upon us that feels helpless and never-ending. You cry, vent and wonder if your heart will ever heal again. And while I am in support of the natural grieving process, I believe writing deserves its own place in the cycle. Follow these 3 writing tasks to understand, process and ultimately heal your post breakup heart.

Task # 1

Listen to your gut – take a blank piece of paper and write down every instance when your gut tapped you on the shoulder and whispered, “I’m not sure about this one.” Remember the last family party when your significant other bailed at the last minute? Write it down. Recall the moment Aunt Hilda referred to your ex as your future hubby and you broke out in a nervous sweat – relive that moment on paper.  We tend to rationalize our doubts in the midst of our relationships so now is the time to unwrap the fancy excuses and uncover the truth.

Task # 2

Process your wants versus your needs because there is a definite difference. I need a partner who is consistent and reliable yet my last fling plummeted as even the act of committing to concrete weekend plans raised his anxiety. I attempted to accommodate my need to fit his (by pretending to be breezy and spontaneous) – we were doomed from the start. List your needs and note which essentials Mr. Ex left unfulfilled.

Task # 3

Write a letter – anger is a symptom of breakups and that anger will transform into anxiety if not properly processed. Instead of leaving frantic messages on your ex’s voicemail or even worse, his very public Facebook wall – put down your smart phone and write a letter. Tell Mr. Reckless With Your Heart everything. Don’t hold back. Feel free to curse, rant and ridicule him for every injustice he bestowed upon you. Then store away this product of your rage for when you need reminding of the shortcomings of your relationship.


  •  Note – I specified a letter instead of  an email because even the most well intentioned of us can succumb to the easily accessible send button. And I can tell you, from unfortunate experience, that having a crazy mad email ignored only fuels more anger.

Breakups are inevitably difficult, draining and a test of our strength and confidence. Take the time you need to understand what went wrong and what you need in your next relationship. Your future soul mate will reap the benefits and your current pain will exist only in your memory.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Jodi The Hopefull Romantic


The Hopefull Romantic

Location: -----, NJ
Credentials: MA
Other Articles/News by Jodi The Hopefull Romantic:

Don't Take Your Selfie Too Seriously


The attack of the selfie is everywhere.  Social Media, family sitcoms and commercials have jumped on the self-indulgent bandwagon — heck there is even a hit song out there that features  the following lyrical prose: “I only got 10 likes in the last 5 minutes Do you think I should take it down? Let me take another ... Read more

Ace Your Date Like A Job Interview


How many of us go-getters are superstars in our chosen professions but are befuddled by the intricacies of a simple date? The solution is easy, tackle your next date like a job interview— Here's how: 1. Dress the Part— I am not advocating a suit and heels for a casual lunch but what you wear speaks for you before formal communication has ... Read more

The Right Way To Say, “I’m not Interested.”


Boy meets girl. Boy promises to call girl. Boy disappears. Sound familiar? Nobody likes this story, yet it is recurring on the bookshelves of our lives everywhere. And this tale knows no gender limits. Girls are ignoring their perplexed dates at high frequencies too because it is all too easy for all of us to pretend our dates’ feelings have vanished ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Most Popular