Long drawn out break ups are certainly difficult but what about the ending of a fling that never quite graduated to a relationship? When these short and unsubstantial encounters end, we often seek solitude in coping with our shattered hearts and egos. After all, why bother seeking comfort in others, right? In my experience, these “flings” are often even more temporarily damaging because our hope was at stake. A short fling does not leave time to fully witness the demise of a connection and often someone is left hanging with no closure at all. I have picked myself up again and again after a fleeting romance gone wrong and here is what I have learned:
1. Cry it out – Perhaps you went out with Mr. Charmer for a couple of dates and he suddenly stopped calling. Or Mr. More Than Friends decided to revert to his platonic front. These may seem like minor dating hiccups but they are hurtful just the same so own your sadness and allow yourself time to heal.
2. Your journal is your best friend – write a letter (send at your own risk) to Mr. Stopped Calling and allow yourself to delve into your anger. I have been on the receiving end of Mr. Too Good to Be True’s Disappearing Act (detailed further in my blog) and have learned that sometimes you have to reach a point of closure on your own. I find that making a list of all the qualities you hope to find in your Mr. Meant To Be and comparing that list to the person who simply faded away is a realistic reminder that he wasn’t the one.
3. Call a friend – At first, I felt a bit love sick and silly at the prospect of crying on the shoulder of a friend for someone whose last name I barely knew. But the reality of heartbreak is that sometimes it is has more to do with the fact that he didn’t work out than who he actually was. A good friend of mine patiently listened through my recounting of my last fling and helped me notice the minor details I missed while my head was in the clouds. For example, I thought he was considerate but my friend reminded me of the time he broke our plans at the last minute. I realized that his excuses were simply that and he really wasn’t for me, right from the beginning.
Above all remember, the ending of any connection is difficult so allow yourself to feel the loss. Take time for yourself, reach out to your support system and recognize that you deserve someone worth more than a momentary fling.