Free yourself from negative thinking that's holding you back from success in all areas of life.
When you have things in your life you don't want and don't want the things you have, life becomes a painful experience. Being paralyzed by fear is like being caught in a mind trap. When you stay in this fearful state of mind for too long, it paralyzes you to the point that you don't know how to be happy anymore. This negative thinking is like an out of control weed in a garden that will take over and choke everything else out. The things you would normally feel excited to do eventually become dangerous, painful and risky.
- Take responsibility for your legal responsibilities, your relationships and your knowledge: Develop strong pillars of Character Ethics (integrity, fidelity, courage, compassion, contribution responsibility and justice). The rest, you can ask others to take responsibility for. The only behavior and life you can manage or control is your own.
- Change your thoughts and expectations: People who know they can handle everything that comes along in life also have a positive "I can do it" attitude. Think about things turning out the way you want and do the work required to get it. Expect to be of service to others, but do not expect something to be given from a particular source or in a particular way. Keep an open mind that what you need can be given in many ways from many sources to eliminate disappointment.
- Suspend passing judgments and assumptions about others and yourself: Passing judgements imposes your standards on others who may not have the same plans, skills or experience as you. Judging yourself or what is possible for you based on another's outcomes is an unfair assessment of the circumstances. Assuming eliminates a lot of facts and details and is like mind reading. Unless information is verified, there is a whole lot of room for error. Take the time to do some investigating and verify the facts from the source or someone with credible knowledge and experience before coming to any conclusions or final decisions. It can save a lot of embarrassing circumstances and costly mistakes especially in your close and personal relationships.
- Detach from your rules about the way you think things "should" be: Everybody is valid in their views, opinions and ideas based on the knowledge they have and their own experiences. Give up the right to invalidate yourself or others with communication. Listen with the intention of understanding what others are seeing, thinking and how they feel about their perspective. Two people never see the same details and very rarely feel the same way about a particular situation. By changing "should" to "I would prefer it," you allow others their own freedom to choose whether they also want what you are asking of them. It diminishes power struggles and battles for control. When you realize you have other options if they say "no," you also have more freedom and can be okay whether others do what you want or not.
- Take an inventory of yourself, looking at strengths, accomplishments, achievements and personal growth first. Then evaluate the remaining areas for improvement: In this final step, taking inventory, building yourself up first with all that is right and going well makes it easier to face the areas that aren't quite up to your standards for the level you want to operate at. In a high point, challenges or difficulties are easier to face because you feel more confident and empowered. From a low point, everything seems like a struggle and more difficult to tackle.
Pain is created from narrow or closed minded thinking that shuts down your choices, options and other ways of doing or being. It is a focus on powerlessness that gives the perception that you or others are incapable or incompetent and some hardship will be experienced that can't be handled or changed.
Pleasure is a gain that everyone wants. When you focus on what is loving, joyful and working well in your life, you naturally draw more of it to you because you are more open to looking for it. Happiness is contagious. People naturally want to be around others who make them feel good and included in worthwhile endeavors.