The Matchmaker discusses online dating. Her thoughts regarding finding "the one" online vs real life
What’s wrong with online dating? Nothing, honestly. It works for some people. I know couples who are very happy together that have met online. Some people enjoy browsing 1000′s of photos and reading 1000′s of profiles to choose a few singles to email.
As a Chicago area matchmaker I am privy to many intimate details about the search for “the one“. I hear about clients sending out 100′s of e-mails that don’t get answered and receiving strange e-mails from even stranger people. I hear about the long length of time it takes just to find a date to take out for dinner or drinks. And then to find out all that time was wasted- because in real life there was just no chemistry.
I tried online dating a few years ago and hated it. I hated not knowing who the person really was, hated putting a photo of myself out there and trying so hard to “bait” someone to communicate with me. I really, really hated the communication; e-mails back and forth until you decide to chat on the phone… it seemed so difficult and time consuming. Then…. you agree to a date, get all dolled up and the guy is a total NO. (I’m sure this happens to guys too!) Thinking back, I wonder how much time was wasted on the search, the emails, the chatting and then preparing for this date that if I had had met him on the street (or speed dating) I would have known INSTANTLY that he was a NO.
This is where speed dating comes in. It’s fast. Yes, I know… only 6 minutes to meet someone makes it really difficult to know if there is potential… but that’s the point. You WILL know in 6 minutes weather or not you could handle a 2 hour dinner date with him or her. You won’t know if you want to raise a family together or pick out matching rocking chairs.
Dating is a numbers game. Increase your dating pool by attending a speed dating event, you’ll meet 8-16 potential dates in under two hours in a quiet, nice lounge, with some other fun singles. Choose a few dates that that you had a connection with and then go have a first real date. I bet this first date is less nerve racking than meeting someone from match.com!