Dear FearLess Love,
I'm in my thirties. I have a lot of friends and a career. What I don't have is a partner. I feel left out of an important part of life and it breaks my heart. All of the relationships I've had were disasters. Now, I feel there is little hope of finding anyone to share my life with. To others it appears that I'm happy and successful, but the truth is very different. I'm afraid of being alone forever. What should I do?
Not finding your life partner can be very disheartening. No, you won't be alone forever. There is love and a person out there for you. You may need to engage in a little soul searching and clearing the path first.
Using a sheet of paper, take a look at your relationship history. List all of your significant relationships — family, teachers, boyfriends, friends and anyone who's had an impact on your life. List the positive traits and the negative traits of each relationship, not of the individuals. You should be able to see patterns and common threads emerging.
Are there relationship cycles that need to be interrupted or broken? Are there fears and disempowering beliefs undergirding these patterns?
Some of these cycles can be overcome by reading and some may need the assistance of a professional.
Next learn to trust your instincts. When you meet a potential candidate what does your gut tell you? It's important to be aware of how you are responding to an individual. Consider it valuable information. Take this insight and be intentional about what you want and what you are willing to work for to have a loving relationship.
If you have a question for Jianny email her at Jianny@FearlessLove.net or speak with her personally 954-495-4566.
More on being single from YourTango: