9 keys to a happy marriage and lasting love.
Not all marriages look the same or have started off the same. I love speaking with couples in long-term marriages, and it always intrigues me when I hear the stories of couples that started off rocky yet defied what everyone around them thought would be the inescapable.
What these resilient, now healthy, couples have achieved is to grow together. They might have been faced with huge challenges, but somewhere along their journey they embraced, what I call, a teachable spirit.
Here are some commonalities I have found with healthy relationships that improve the chances of a more blissful happily-ever-after:
1. Mutual trust
Both you and your spouse are at ease that there is goodwill toward one another other in every area of life. This doesn’t mean there hasn’t been or there won’t be a break in your confidence such as financial infidelity, an affair, abuse, or neglect. What’s important here is when trust is broken each takes full responsibility to rectify the rupture and rebuild the sense of goodwill.
2. Openness in communication
Honesty between the two of you is valued above all else. That means you and your spouse can speak the truth without fear of judgment and punishment. There is room to agree to disagree and to hear things that make you uncomfortable such as a being called out on your stuff and accepting that conflict is part of a healthy relationship and a means for personal growth.
3. Mutual respect
There’s admiration and gratitude in sharing your life with your partner. You value each other and when one of you is out-of-line he or she quickly, apologizes because disrespecting your spouse doesn’t line up with who you are or your intentions.
There’s commitment, not only, to the relationship, but also commitment to grow as a couple. Learning and discovering new things about each other or expanding your knowledge together keeps things fresh. Life isn’t always blissful; therefore, accepting occasional sacrifices and comprises for the well-being of the relationship.
5. Laughing together
Couples that laugh and play together cultivate a strong friendship that can help sustain them through the rough patches and move them through the storms of life.
6. Shared values and faith
Our personal goals, values and faith ground us and grant us purpose. For couples that married young their values evolved together. While couples who married later in life they found partners that were grounded in the same faith, values and shared similar goals.
7. Sexual fulfillment
8. Know each other’s needs.
To be happy, each of us has certain personal needs that we bring to the relationship. Being attentive of what your partner needs is important. In healthy marriages each partner is mindful respecting personal space, individuality and uniqueness.
9. Pursuit of personal fulfillment
Each person is responsible, encouraged, and supported to pursue their personal fulfillment whether it means changing their career, exploring a new hobby, or interest or returning to school. Although love naturally creates a dependency on our loved ones, our fulfillment doesn’t rest solely upon them, but on our ability to dream and the courage to take chances.
In essence, happy marriages and lasting love is a dance between two partners that find a balance - bringing out the best in each other while addressing and forgiving anything less than comforting and supportive.
Jianny Adamo, LMHC, founder of Fearless Love Relationship Coaching and Counseling supports singles and couples to break through fears and limitations and to embrace a rewarding life centered on freedom to love, ability to connect deeply and live with purpose and vitality. Skype and phone consultations available. 561-450-5580. www.fearlesslove.net.
This article was originally published at http://www.fearlesslove.net/. Reprinted with permission from the author.