Dear FearLess Love,
I proposed to my girlfriend of 5 years about two weeks ago and she said "yes." Now, I'm regretting that move. We're both in our forties and our children are out of the house. We've lived together all this time as if we were married — or at least for 4 of the 5 years we've been together. So why change a good thing? I've noticed that as soon as I proposed, I started to feel anxious, suffocated, and like I wanted to run away from all of this. I do not want to get married! What should I do? I have no intention of leaving her, but I really don't want to change the way things are. I'm just not sure how to bring this up to her. — Scott
Post engagement jitters can occur at times. Be patient with your anxieties. Perhaps, they may be drawing your attention to unfinished business from a past relationship or marriage that needs completion prior to moving on to the next marriage. Other reasons for the anxieties can arise from anticipation of role and/or responsibility changes. Talk with your fiance about these concerns. Open and honest communication leads to greater understanding and deeper connection; it's the antidote to the jitters.
I'd imagine that your fiance is very important to you. Re-negotiating the engagement may backfire and cause a rift in the "good thing" you have established with her. It may be seen as a lack of commitment on your part. Love takes courage. I wish you the best and may you find a way to attain what you truly want in spite of your fears.
If you have a question for Jianny email her at Jianny@FearlessLove.net or speak with her personally 954-495-4566.