What To Do When Your Loving Boyfriend Is Too Broke

By

Relationship Questions: What To Do When Your Loving BF Is Broke
Is it superficial to be concerned about finances over true love?

Dear Jianny, 

I have been dating a wonderful man for about six months. I don't think I have ever felt more loved, adored and appreciated by anyone. However, he has no steady income. I am in my early 50s, divorced and not making much money. I am concerned about my financial future. He provides for my emotional needs, but not the realistic side: money, home, necessities, vacations, etc.

 

This sounds a bit superficial, but it is also a reality. He talks about being together forever and that I am the love of his life. He says he has been looking for work but he is an artist. I have broken up with him over these concerns regarding finances, yet we keep getting back together because there is a strong emotional connection.

Bottom line: I have a wonderful sweet man who loves, adores, appreciates and cherishes me unconditionally. I am comfortable with him, love him and can be myself with him. No situation is perfect. I could end up alone and poor, so perhaps I should just be thankful and grateful for what I have or am I settling?

Thanks, Sophia

Dear Sophia,

We have certain basic needs that need to be met in order for us to function. We need food, clothing and shelter. Physical safety, as well as financial security, is important to our well-being. Just as important, is our need for love and a sense of belonging which is met through our friendships, community, family and intimacy.

Our need for love and acceptance can often trump our physical and security needs. However, the answer is both. You need both financial security as well as love. Love and security are non-negotiable. The number one reason for divorce is financial issues. So the man you consider to spend the rest of your life with should know the importance of these needs if you're looking for smoother sailing in your relationship.

Talk with your boyfriend. Can you agree on a financial plan for your current situation and for your future? If you can't come to a mutually beneficial agreement, you have your answer. Fear of being alone should not compromise your well-being.

If you have a question for Jianny email her at Jianny@FearlessLove.net or speak with her personally 954-495-4566.

More relationship questions fromm YourTango: 

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Jianny Adamo

Counselor/Therapist

Jianny Adamo, LMHC, LPC, NCC

Licensed Psychotherapist & Relationship Coach

www.fearlesslove.net

954-495-4566

Location: Delray Beach, FL
Credentials: LMHC, LPC, MA, NCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support, Marriage, Spiritual
Other Articles/News by Jianny Adamo:

Successful and Alone: A Case of a Broken Picker?

By

Dear Fearless Love, A few months ago, I went through my second divorce, a marriage that lasted about 3 years.  I admit, I am attracted to women who need me more than those who are my equal. I took my time before I got married again and I thought this time I really had the right one.  I have a demanding and successful career that provides a ... Read more

3 Ways Men Can Spark Romance This Valentine's Day

By

1. Pursuit Wooing your wife will go a lot further than you think. Women feel desired, beautiful, and wanted by their husband’s advances, as long as sexual conquest isn’t the only time you focus attention toward her. Taking for granted that sex comes with marriage is boring! On the contrary, seizing the opportunity to create a deeper connection by ... Read more

Tired &Frustrated?12 Signs Your Husband Is Passive-Aggressive

By

Dear Fearless Love, I recently celebrated 5 years of marriage with my husband whom I hope to spend the rest of my life with. He’s a reserved man who gets along with my family and is a good father. However, I have a few issues with him and I don’t want to complain, but I hope you can help me. There are times I feel he lacks ambition and ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular