Dear FearLess Love,
I want to ask out a woman I know but I'm not sure it's a good idea.
She divorced her husband about 4 months ago. I'm not close friends with her, however we do know each other. She's someone I've always liked and so when she divorced, I was actually happy I could pursue her.
What's your advice about asking someone out after a divorce? Good idea or not? Is it too soon? She's a great lady and I'd love to get to know her better.
It's a good idea to take a timeout from romantic relationships after a divorce.
This time is best used to complete the stages of grief which starts prior to filing for divorce: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. Individuals cycle through in no particular order and revisit different stages until reaching complete acceptance of their loss.
Ending a marriage represents a loss of hopes and dreams, perhaps a lifestyle. It requires learning how to live without your other half. Divorce is never easy and can be more stressful than the death of a spouse.
Following a divorce, individuals need time to heal. Especially if there are children involved, it is wise to give them time to adjust to their new reality before introducing another person into their lives.
Your lady friend is the only one who can decide when she's ready to date. Generally speaking, it takes about one year for every five years of marriage for the emotional healing to complete.
Call her and, at the very least, be a friend. Allow things to evolve naturally. She may be happy to have male companionship at this stage of her process and with your sensitivity she may see you as a gift.
If you have a question for Jianny email her at Jianny@FearlessLove.net or speak with her personally 954-495-4566.