When you reintroduce this simple act, your marriage will NEVER be the same.
He gets up from the table thinking—yes I got the softener salt, mowed the damn lawn, and bought food for the ankle bitter I didn't want. She watches him walk way and fixes her gaze on what remains of the chicken she prepared and mutters, "You're welcome."
Do you know what this couple and many of you have forgotten to say in your marriage—THANK YOU!
Think back to the first few months of dating—thank you was said to the point of nausea. Remember how good it felt to be appreciated and your efforts noticed.
The time you bought him the hat he hated—he put it on and said, "Thank you." When he showed up at your work with the wrong flavor of coffee--you smiled and said, "thank you."
How good did it feel when he appreciated your gestures? Amazing. That's what motivated you to continue to go out of your way to do nice things for him and vice versa.
If it's so easy to say—why did we stop?
It's a combination of busyness, constant mental chatter—reminding us how busy we are—and marital expectations.
In the beginning of every relationship our focus is so wrapped up in our love interest that there are no tasks more important that spending time together, and our mental chatter is a constant reel of how amazing your love is.
The acts of buying the hat or bringing the coffee reaffirmed how much you cared about each other.
We can't get that back—our lives are so hectic...can we?
That depends on you. How badly do you want to get back to feeling in love?
Do you miss the little surprises he used to bring? How about those times he would come up behind you and kiss the back of your neck—just because. For him, he mostly misses the way you used to look at him with admiration for his generosities and showed gratitude in ways that only you could.
We live in a world that's not gentle or kind. It's fast and furious, which leaves you feeling trampled by the time you get home. We get honked at on our way to volunteer, pushed passed while we are in line buying the cupcakes we forgot to bake, and our efforts at work rarely get noticed.
By the time we get back to our safe haven it would make a world of difference if our partners noticed us and said those two little words.
Thank you for all the little and BIG things that you do. I appreciate the kind of parent you are and I'm grateful to have you in my life—you matter to me.
She slowly gets up from the table, grabs the carcass and to her surprise he comes up from behind and takes the plate. "Sit down, the Bachelorette is on. I got this." In shock she walks towards the living room and hears, "and babe, thanks."
After the dishes are done he cuddles up next to her on the couch and is welcomed with this, "I have been asking a lot from you this past month and I know it's your busy time at work. I want you to know how much I appreciate you."
They pause looking into the other's eyes and in that moment they aren't the stressed out couple that never has time for each other. He is the cute guy that tries to bring her fancy coffees—when she prefers gas station cappuccinos—and she is the adorable girl that keeps buying him hats that he hates to wear.
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