Can he make you giggle?
According to the Science Daily women are more attracted to men with a sense of humor.
Today’s achievement driven society is exhausting, so it's not surprising that women gravitate towards a partner that has the ability to lighten their mood.
In the midst of our hectic schedules, it’s literally PRICELESS to have someone crack a joke and make us laugh.
Laughter has A TON of health benefits. BUT did you know that it plays a HUGE role in the success of your marriage?
The powerful list of positive side effects is enormous BUT here are some of my favorites:
- Laughter simulates that ooey-gooey feeling of falling in love by releasing the same hormones.
- You both stress less because you feel your best when you laugh.
- You view the world with a positive spin.
How does this pertain to my marriage?
Most believe that the honeymoon stage in a relationship is hard to keep alive. That it only lasts for a period of time, until real love sets in.
BUT that's WRONG. You can actually dance between romantic (honeymoon) and real love for the entire length of your marriage.
The secret is to keep smiling and not take life too seriously.
Laughter releases the same neurotransmitters that are responsible for the giddiness you feel when you first fall in love, says James Gorman from the New York Times. Sure it's not to the same potency level, but some is better than none.
Whenever my husband cracks me up, I catch myself feeling the same flutter of butterflies in my tummy as I did when we were dating. Laughing makes a HUGE difference in the way that I see him and that's just ONE of the side effects.
Remez Sasson, founder of Success Consciousness, says that people who laugh A TON tend to have a positive outlook on life. In marriage there are HIGH highs and REALLY LOW lows, especially when kids and careers enter the picture. There's so much value in having a partner help you see the brighter side of the darker moments.
According to R. Morgan Griffin from WebMD, when you laugh you increase your oxygen intake, which increases your blood flow. This allows your body to run on all cylinders and FEEL YOUR BEST.
In laymen's terms you can swap out your stress reducing glass of red wine in the evenings with a couple chuckles and get the same effect (minus the empty calories).
This is great, BUT what if I don't think the material is all that funny?
Chances are at one point in your relationship you did enjoy his punchlines. Like the study found, we're naturally attracted to humor.
What's sucking the fun out of life is the amount of pressure you’re under to get everything done, not his aging humor.
The desire to complete your overwhelming To-Do list trumps your need to have fun.
As a society, we have bought into the idea that if we work hard enough, eventually we can slow down, BUT the harsh reality is that the list never ends.
It feels like you CAN'T slow down to enjoy the smaller moments because you’re so hyper-focused on making sure the bigger events happen.
Don't worry, I get it AND I know how you can get out of the fun-sucking cycle and back to sharing a laugh or two.
How To Hit The Humor Reset Button:
Here are a few exercises that'll help you appreciate your partner and his sense of humor again.
OPTION #1: Think about the last time he made you laugh. This is SUPER EASY and only requires about five minutes of your time. Simply go to a quiet room and perform about 8-10 belly breaths.
Once your body slows down, you’re ready for the exercise.
Think back to the last time that your husband made you laugh out loud.
Where were you, what you were doing, and what was so funny? Remember how you looked at him after he made you laugh.
I bet you looked at him with more love.
You can take these little breaks all throughout your day. Slowing down your mind helps you tune into what's truly important (your family) and quiet the white noise.
Now go and share the memory with him. Show him that you do find him funny and give him a little confidence boost.
OPTION #2: Become the fly on the wall and observe. In order to appreciate your hubby's humor you need to notice it.
The next time you two go out become a fly on the wall and observe how he takes in the world around him and how other's are influenced by his presence.
It’s incredible how much more we see when we shift our focus off of ourselves and to our spouse. It’s a lot of fun and it’s eye-opening.
OPTION #3: Pretend your partner is dead. Yikes! I know just bare with me. The last trick is VERY successful at bringing back the appreciation your partner and his humor.
I want you to pretend that your partner has unexpectedly died. Write a letter and talk about what you miss about him now that he's gone.
I know it’s morbid BUT it's EXTREMELY effective.
Talk about what life is like without him and how you would do anything to spend one last moment with him.
Remembering how quickly life could change has the power to jolt us out of our automation coma and see what matters.
He’s instantly more precious once you remember how fragile his life truly is.
Your Appreciation For His Humor Will Fade As Life Speeds Back Up
Life is extremely busy, which means you'll forget to appreciate him again (we all do). When that happens simply, sneak away for some belly breaths and reflection time, reposition yourself as the fly on the wall, or pull out the letter and reread it.
Remember what you would miss and then go and have him lay some one-liners on you like there is no tomorrow.
Laugh like you’ll never get this moment back because the truth is, you won’t. Enjoy him and his humor. As much as your body benefits from your laughter so will your relationship benefit from this shared experience.
This article was originally published at JMiller Coaching. Reprinted with permission from the author.