And yes, even you can do them.
Have you ever seen a movie that hits on so many pain points, you thought it was personal documentary?
This is 40 was that movie for millions of couples.
When there’s a lot of truth in a movie, there’s a ton that we can learn. For instance:
- Everyone needs alone time. You don’t want to be like Paul Rudd and disappear to the bathroom for 30-minute non-$hits in order to hide out and play scrabble four times a day.
- Boundaries are essential, as well as, transparency when it comes to extended family. Unless you want to find out that your partner has lent his father $80k!
- Aging in this culture SUCKS A$$!
- You need to have more “who gives a $hit” dance parties like Megan Fox and Leslie Mann.
- Mystery is a must. If you have something growing out of your privates you need to go to the doctor. Mann can’t unseen that.
- Kids feel the tension, hear the arguing, and mimic your fighting styles. How horrifying would it be to have your teen unload on you like Maude Apatow when she was alerted that her parents were snooping her social media accounts?
- You can’t want your partner to be healthy more than he wants it for himself. This only leads to anger, resentment, and blowouts. Simply lead by example. He’ll see there’s something to live for and do it himself.
- Externalize the stress and pressure from the outside world. Don’t be a dud like Rudd and shatter your wife’s self-confidence if she approaches half naked. If she knows ahead of time where your head is at she’ll pick a better time to see if she still has it.
Getaways Give You Clarity and Perspective
Regardless of how much hell Rudd and Mann put each other through their love shines once they remove themselves from the mayhem.
I’m sure you can relate to the getaway effect. Once you’re able to strip down to the bare bones of the relationship you can see that it’s not the two of you… IT’S THE CRAZINESS OF LIFE!
What sucks about getaways is that you have to come back. And literally the tranquil ease drains the moment you hear your kids screaming.
Luckily there’s a way that you can bottle that feeling and bring it back to your real life once the vacation ends.
Check It Out: 7 TOP Tricks To Stay Reconnected
- Externalize the pressure: money, family, aging, and children.
- Aging: You’ve heard how English is the hardest second language to learn. Well America is the hardest culture to age in. Talk about it and lean on each other for support. Our superficial world can be a brutal place.
- Structure is a must: Electronic time limits and consequences for back talking tweens.
- Be transparent with your teens before they get an iPhone and social media accounts. Make sure they understand that as parents monitoring those sites is just like making them have the door open when a friend of the opposite sex is over for a “study date”.
- Model appropriate fighting styles. You can fight just do it appropriately (with respect) and resolve the conflict in front of kids so they know it’s a part of married life.
- Have date nights with yourself. Alone time is a necessary to have a healthy marriage.
- Have more young fun together. We get so caught up in behaving appropriately that we forget there are no rules to aging. Party like rock stars once in a while. Remind your spouse why they choose you.
Have fun implementing the seven tips and don’t stress if one or more doesn’t mesh well with your family. Either skip it or be patient. Just remember that you didn’t get here over night, so it’ll take some time.
Marriage can and should be your playground NOT your personal battlefield. Remember who your partner fell in love with and channel that girl when you want to get all Leslie Mann on your partner and his poor eating habits.
Jessica is the author of Back to Love and How to Start a Mental Health Private Practice. She blogs regularly on her website, JMiller Coaching. Connect with her on Facebook and follow her on Twitter where she tweets Top Relationship Tips.
This article was originally published at http://www.jmillercoaching.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.