Mallory seemed to be coming around. Megan just sat there looking quite unhappy.
Stop Judging, Start Dating
Most women ask me how they can get over the fact that only a certain type of man attracts them. They don’t want to prejudge, but the thought of going out with a man who, for example, is shorter than they are, makes them want to give up their search for love completely. I tell those women that they are allowed to have one physical turnoff, as men certainly have one or two of their own. If height truly bothers them, they can stick to taller men, but they should try to be more flexible about how tall they really need to be. If they typically don’t like men under six feet, but they themselves are only five foot four, they should give a little and accept dates with men who are five seven and above. Those few inches may not bother them if everything else about the guy is just outstanding.
They are only allowed one physical turnoff, so I tell them to choose wisely.
Virtually anything physical can also be improved upon anyway. Weight can be lost, clothes can be changed, hair can be cut, and so on and so forth. It’s what is on the inside that cannot be so easily changed. It’s important to keep in mind what qualities truly matter in the long run and not just what turns you on for the night.
Three months after my conversation with Megan and Mallory, they were out together again prospecting for eligible guys. Megan immediately resigned to sitting at a table in the back because there weren’t any cute guys out that night. Mallory, on the other hand, kept her mind and options open. As she walked to the bathroom, she noticed a guy at the bar checking her out. He wasn’t her typical type, but she decided to not judge. When she came out of the bathroom, she went to the bar to order her next drink, placing herself right next to the guy. She could feel that he was looking her way, so she took a deep breath, smiled, and looked at him.
“Hi! How are you?” he said right away.
“I’m good. I’ve just been abandoned by my waitress,” she laughed.
“Oh, allow me. That looks like a rum and coke?” he smiled.
“Good guess,” Mallory replied.
As Megan sat alone at the table, Mallory chatted with the guy for half an hour. He asked for her number and said he would call her. Mallory left the bar that night feeling optimistic. She wasn’t sure if the guy was going to be Mr. Right, but she liked him more than she thought she would have after their brief conversation.
Today Mallory tells me she has never been so in love. She and her boyfriend have been dating for almost a year. Although she said he wasn’t physically her type at first glance, she finds him very sexy now that she knows him. Whenever they are out, they can’t keep their hands off each other!
Megan on the other hand is still very single and searching.
Jess McCann is a dating and relationship coach in Washington D.C. She is the author of the books, You Lost Him at Hello: From Dating to ‘I do’, and Was it Something I Said?: The answer to all your dating dilemmas. She coaches men and women all over the world on how to find love and cultivate healthy relationships. Visit her at www.jessmccann.com and follow her advice on Twitter @iamjessmccann