Miss Utah Chokes Under Pressure


Miss Utah Chokes Under Pressure
Stumbling for words cost her the crown. Can it cost you your relationship?

It's hard to always know the right thing to say. In fact, it's just plain impossible. Attempting to perfectly craft every word you utter would be exhausting and contrived, anyway. No man wants a woman who spends five minutes thinking about what she's going to say, or regrets and over explains every word she speaks. There is a way, however,  to prepare yourself so that when the when the difficult questions and conversations arise within your relationship, you know how to best handle them. In my book, "Was It Something I Said? : The answers to all your dating dilemmas" I talk about crafting your "Relationship Vision" in order to feel confident in addressing the tough questions. When you begin dating someone, the promise of a new relationship can be so desirable it may create anxiety within you. You might worry about tripping over your words and putting your foot in your mouth. Or you may believe that there is a perfect response for every situation, but since you have not figured it out yet, you should just remain silent.

The secret to articulating your thoughts is to always act in accordance with what you want in a relationship, not just what you want in a man. Most women have figured out what kind of guy they like, right down to his eye color and shoe size, but have put little thought into the "type" of relationship they want. And this is what causes people to stumble when faced with something challenging. Just as it was clear that Miss Utah had never given a thought to what women’s income indicates about society, if you don't think about the rapport you want between you and your partner, and the respect and connection you share,  you too could flub your chance with a great guy. Envisioning the relationship you want and the connection you seek will enable you to confidently articulate your thoughts in your relationship. Something you can’t do that unless you actually spend time thinking about it. So instead of always asking your friends or family how to respond to a cryptic text or handle a delicate discussion, first and foremost work on crafting your vision… for your vision will.

If you aren’t sure how to answer questions about your past relationships, why you aren't married yet, or how to tell him you aren't ready for sex, check out "Was It Something I Said?" to get word-for-word advice on how to best address the stickiest of relationship situations!

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
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