to the YourTango newsletter!

Continue to Site »»

ProConnect

Are You Misinterpreting His Feelings?

By . Posted on .

Are You Misinterpreting His Feelings?
The three most important things to know about loving your guy

2. Not all men are created equal. Yes, there are guys out there that are jerks, players, or narcissists, and they do not know how to be in a relationship with anyone. But there are also men that are kind, loving, supportive, yet still strong and masculine. I went into a lot of my younger relationships expecting to be let down and hurt because that is what the guy before and the guy before did. However, assuming this made me defensive and suspicious. In other words, a real joy to be around! I spent a lot of time overreacting to certain situations that warranted no reaction at all because I just assumed all men were the same. If one had wronged me in the past, it was only a matter of time that the current one would too. Letting go of the "all men are the same" mantra was one of the biggest feats my younger self ever had and one that changed the course of my relationships going forward.

3. I could take the lead sometimes. I remember thinking that whoever I was with was not only less emotional but somehow smarter or more together than I was. I assumed that the logical male mind meant that all men had a plan and any proposal that I came up with would only be secondary to theirs. It wasn't until dating around in my early twenties that I realized there were a good deal of men that were (and I say this lovingly), clueless. And sometimes guys just want you to take charge and tell them what you want instead of always having the responsibility of doing the planning. It doesn't matter if we are talking dinner plans or financial plans. Men don't have all the answers. Assuming they did always made me upset when they didn't fully take charge, because I assumed it was due to lack of interest in me. Now I know, some guys just need direction on things. In fact, most of the good ones, want your direction at least half the time.

More from YourTango: 3 Signs You're In A Love-Hate Relationship

If you want to learn more about how to interact with the guy you are in a relationship with, check out my newest book, "Was It Something I Said? The answer to all your dating dilemmas" for advice on how to get through uncomfortable conversations and sticky situations.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Jess McCann

Dating Coach

http://www.jessmccann.com

Check out my new book, Was It Something I Said: The answer to all your dating dilemmas.

Coming in February 2013, You Lost Him at Hello: From Dating to "I Do" - Secret Stragies from one of America's Top Dating Coaches.

Location: Falls Church, VA
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Jess McCann:

3 Signs You're In A Love-Hate Relationship

By

When a girl likes a guy, she will put up with a lot. Flaking on phone calls, cancelling plans and even dropping hints that a long-term relationship is not in the cards. Every day, I receive emails from women desperately seeking advice about how to deal with the object of their affection and frustration. While I can give tips and techniques on how to get him to ... Read more

Still Looking For Mr. Right? You Probably Walked Right Past Him.

By

The following is part of an excerpt from the new book, You Lost him at Hello: From dating to “I Do” – secret strategies from one of America’s top dating coaches (HCI, 2013), by Jess McCann Mallory and Megan are best friends. When they both turned twenty-nine they suddenly began to worry about whether or not they were ever going to ... Read more

Top 10 Self-Help Books About Love

By

Many years ago, before I became a relationship coach, I read a lot of self-help books. Some were good, some were bad, and I always struggled to decide whose advice to take. When I became an author, and submersed myself in the world of self-improvement, it became clear which books had useful, innovative advice for women. With that in mind, here are the top ten ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Smooch

Does Length Matter When Dating

Does the length of time dating before marrying have a significant impact on the success of your...

Imagine

Change Of Heart: Now She Wants Him Back

There's a reason you broke up with your ex. Is there really any benefit to taking a step backwards?

Smooch

Three Realities you Must Accept in a Healthy, Happy Relationship

If you do not understand and accept these realities, then you cannot have a healthy relationship.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS