To do or not to do, that is always the question. Ahh, ambivalence. So I used to mix up this word with the word indifference. The latter means something like, “I don’t care.” The former means the opposite of that. Sort of. It means I feel strongly in at least 2 different ways about the same thing at the same time. Like whoa! I asked Merriam, he said “simultaneous and contradictory attitudes or feelings (as attraction and repulsion) toward an object, person, or action.” And there shouldn’t really be a period there cuz ambivalence doesn’t end. In my experience as a relationship coach and human being, it just keeps going. And going.
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We always feel at least two different ways about almost everything. Sounds crazy right? Well think about it… the relationship you are/were in, ever think you wanted to be with them and you didn’t want to be with them, maybe even on the same day? Or in the same moment? Or the questions that crop up like should I go to graduate school? Yes I should, definitely. Actually, no I definitely should not. Kicking my roommate out? Yes, because he’s a slob, their sex noises are too loud, and he never sweeps. No, because I don’t want to have that conversation and what if the next roomie is even worse and, and… and…!
More from YourTango: An Invitation
What’s something you don’t feel ambivalent about? Go ahead, I’ll wait. Yeah I stole that line from Katt Williams, and I’d embed a link here but I don’t know if any of his sh!t is actually SFW. Well I guess we can talk to google. While I’m feeling different ways about whether or not to share this link, did you come up with anything that’s even somewhat important that you don’t feel ambivalent about?
I feel all kinds of ambivalent about sharing that Katt Williams link with you, and on the scale of things that are happening in my life even today that’s pretty small sweet potato fries. And you might realize you actually feel fairly ambivalent about watching the clip. Is it worth my time? Maybe it’s hilarious? Will my boss peek over my shoulder right when Katt is saying exactly the kind of thing that… O my. And on, and on.
Okay, so maybe the only thing we don’t feel at least somewhat ambivalent about is really, really unimportant stuff, like whether or not to have a second cup of coffee or if we are having granola or bran flakes for breakfast. And yes, even these minor things can provoke some internal debate on a foggy morning, I’ve totally been there. And the only other thing I can think of that does not stimulate the ambivalence cortex would be habits since we just do those automatically.