Aright fellas, wanting to land that first date and not sure where to begin? You’re at the right place, but I need you to throw something out first. No really, if you want that date you really have to. Toss out the “No-that’s-not-gonna-works.” Seriously. I’ve done the research, formal and informal, and helped plenty of men get that date, and then several more–in fact, that’s exactly why I created SF Relationship Coaching. As long as you’re not a sociopath, here are the tools. And what do you have to lose, cuz if what you are doing right now had your weekend’s calendar full, we both know you’d be prepping for those hot dates, not reading this. And you know what the definition of insanity is.
More from YourTango: An Invitation
1. Where can you meet women?
Everywhere. Step into your whole life with an open stance and a world of possibility is in front of you. Get on match.com and start emailing. Then email some more. Go to the bar tomorrow night. Initiate a conversation about anything with the first woman you see. Then do it again. Go to one meetup.com event a week. Then start going to two. Talk to your crush at work. Talk to the cutie at your corner coffee shop. Say yes next time a blind date opportunity comes your way, even if you don’t think you’re interested. Go to that singles mixer you heard about and don’t want to go to and go to that speed dating event as well. Go to church or synagogue or yoga class or wherever you get your spiritual on and interact with other human beings. Go to the party your coworkers are throwing. Take your dog on walks where other real human beings are. Take a wingman barhopping every Thursday.
More from YourTango: How To Get That First Kiss
2. Open stance.
Okay, so you can do all of that and more and not do it with an open stance and I can almost promise you that you will be met with little or no success. An open stance is a smile that makes eye contact and makes the person you are looking at feel that you like them. Not creepy, but that you really think they are a cool human being. Channel “I like you” and practice it, daily, in the mirror, on an iPhone video, with a friend that you trust to give you honest feedback. Then practice it in every situation you are in where people are present, whether they are a prospect or not. People that feel liked by you will like you back and this will create social and relational opportunities for you. Dale Carnegie has plenty more to say about this and I highly recommend his book, or check out my 2 minute video.
3. Say "YES."