The Five Necessary Qualifications for Your "Transition Partner"
Beware of good friends who want to please. They may not have the courage to help. Kate's life would have been vastly different had she chosen a transition partner who had these five, critical qualifications. A good TP will:
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- No personal agenda. Their only concern is your happiness regardless of what form the arrangement may ultimately take.
- Truth-telling ... even when it is not what you want to hear.
- Personal experience. You want a TP who has been divorced before, so he/she can truly understand what you are dealing with.
- Availability ... to talk with you regularly, frequently, and in depth.
- Non-judgmental. He/ she should be willing to withold judgment and advice.
If you select a TP that meets these requirements and if you give him/her permission to do their job, then the odds of dramatically speeding up your recovery skyrocket. Ironically, this rules out the obvious choices: most friends, family members and lovers. All these people almost always have a preferred solution they want us to accept.
Pick Carefully. Pick wisely. Adjustment becomes almost routine. Pick poorly and the consequences are measured in the number of years lost.
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If you would like a set of instructions to give to your transition partner so he or she can be most effective in helping you recover from divorce, please click here. Would you like to end the pain of divorce and speed up your return to the mainstream of life? Jerald Young is a Divorce Recovery Coach who walks people through the rehabilitation needed after divorce. He is the founder of Smooth Divorce Recovery.