Sometimes, it’s in the little things she does or doesn’t do that can tip you as to the kind of woman you’re spending time with. Does she have respect for your friends? Does she like your family? Is she cool with your dog?!? Check out how she speaks to people she doesn’t know, like that cute waitress at your favorite hang-out…is she the jealous type? Does she make biting remarks that seem unkind and pretty low blow? How does she react to compromise? Is it her way or the highway?
As you’re probably guessing by now, what I’m saying is TAKE YOUR TIME. Don’t rush into something just because she’s the hottest girl that’s paid you any attention. There might be a reason she’s available! I’m not suggesting that just because someone’s ‘on the market’ means that they have ‘secret’ issues. I’m just saying that you want to be sure that ‘what you see is what you get’. Not too many surprises, at least, not the bad ones!
Everyone wants elements of surprise in their relationships, but not necessarily when it comes to someone’s personality. Everyone has things about themselves that they’re probably not that excited to share with the world at large, but for the most part, you want to make sure you’re dating, spending time with & relating with a woman that is who she perceives to be.
That’s not asking too much. Any woman who has a bi-personality (and I don’t mean it the way you’re thinking it..) is trouble. You’ll never now which persona is going to show up! Getting upset is one thing, throwing a tantrum in front of your friends, family or the general public, is another. Unless you’re the Drama King, stay away from the Drama Queens, no matter how glittering their ‘crowns’ may be – they’re fake and sooner or later, you’ll be on the receiving line of one of those tantrums and you’re going to think “I knew this could happen” because you’d seen her actions many times before.
Sometimes we want our potential significant others to be our perfect mate. We’d love to turn them into fun-loving, easy going, stress-free people that we can get along with effortlessly and often, but we need to be aware that people don’t come with warning tags. And people don’t change just because it doesn’t suit someone else. People change because they finally realize they need to, because they want to.
It’s up to you to know yourself and what turns you on and off, and then, gauge whether the woman you’re dating actually has the potential to be The Woman of Your Dreams. People can change, but it’s best to let them do that on their own and not be the one having to have your heart invested in the remodeling job that’s underway in their life.
Relationship Coach Monica S.
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