For most people, other than psychopaths and trained spies, it is very challenging to look someone who knows you very well in the eye and tell an out-and-out lie. If your girlfriend is lying to you, there is a very good likelihood that she will be looking anywhere but into your eyes when she does.
6. Alcohol and Other Substances
Is she drinking outside the home at odd times (daytime) or more than before? Have you suspected drug use, where there was none before? Does she ever smell of cigarettes, even though she doesn’t smoke?
If you are experiencing any of these scenarios in relation to your lover, there is probably a partner in crime. Sex, drugs and rock and roll all go together, as does alcohol, and could all be indulged in during a tryst. If she smells of cigarettes and she does not smoke, you can bet that he does. You know, almost certainly, that someone else is influencing her choices if these behaviors are taking place when they were not happening before.
7. Sexual Deviations
Does she want sex less often than usual? Does she seem to just be going through the motions? Is she asking for things you never did before or teaching you new tricks?
Any extreme variances in sexual behavior are possible indications that there is a new influence in her life. While there are other possible circumstances (e.g., she has just finished reading that book about the shades of gray), the most likely scenario is that she is getting fulfilled outside of the relationship or realizing that there are new and different things that she enjoys and is bringing them into your bed.
What to Do?
While there are a whole host of scenarios that could excuse any of these behaviors, the likelihood is that if there is more than one that seems to ring true, it could be a very good indicator that she is cheating. Take a little time to discover if your suspicions are correct. Once your eyes are open to the behavior changes, you will spot them again and again and put the pieces together. From there, it is up to you as to what direction you want to take in saving or ending your relationship. Just know that you need to do what will be most empowering for you in the long run, and that there will be hurt no matter what the outcome. It is generally devastating when a loved one deceives us, but there are many times when we can weather the storm and come out the other side stronger for having fought for love. And if it seems that you cannot salvage the relationship, then know that you will have learned from this and will be saved from a future of heartache and deceit. Either way, knowing the truth will set you free.
Relationship Coach Elaine L.
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