3 Keys To Being Irresistibly Attractive


3 Keys To Being Irresistibly Attractive
Why does trying so hard in relationships only bring you disappointment?

We all want others to like us. Deep down in our hearts we all want to feel supported, respected and, most importantly, loved. Yet, unfortunately, for many of us this is much easier said then done. We can feel like we always fall short in finding this love that we so desire.

We can feel like we're giving too much and that what we give isn't being reciprocated. We can feel like we are always the one trying in our romantic relationships but that, for some reason, we can't find a partner who will try just as hard. We can find ourselves frustrated, unfulfilled, drained and, deep down, wondering why on earth love is just so darn difficult to find.  Why is it that, despite all efforts, love seems to still be just out of reach?

I feel for you — I totally do. Like Pat Benatar sang, "Love is a Battlefield". As much as we don't like it, it really is.

The unfortunate truth of the matter is this: You can't make everyone like you. Just like you also can't force someone to like you......no matter how hard you try. But, I do have some very exciting news: You can make changes in order to make yourself irresistibly attractive. What's the secret, you ask? To really, truly love and have confidence in yourself. To truly believe in yourself and take the time to focus on what's best for you.

Here's the thing: Many of us waste our energy on things that aren't really positively serving us. We worry about whether someone will like us or not. We obsess about a past relationship that didn't work. We go on a first date with this underlying fear of rejection. The trouble is that when we do these things, its like we're allowing holes to be poked into the bottle of our own unique goodness. We allow all these things to suck away our energy, which prevents us from truly standing in our own unique power.

And you know what? It's not very attractive. Other people can feel that energy and they know and feel your fear. 

This causes us to do one or both things:

  • We attract others to us who are equally as fearful.
  • We allow these blocks to hold us back from really creating a fulfilling relationship.

So what can we do to truly love and have more confidence in ourselves so that we can truly be irresistibly attractive?

1. Take care of yourself. Go out and exercise. Eat healthy. Take the time to periodically check-in with your body. If you feel exhausted, then take the time to rest. If you feel energized then make sure you get out there and channel that energy into some great work or work out!

Action step: Check in with your body right now. What is something that could make you feel better right now? A walk along a beach or lake? A nice salt bath? A big plate of steamed veggies? A few minutes of meditation?

2. Do what you love to do.  Even though we can't always control avoiding the things that we hate to do, we can find time to do the things that we love to do! If you've always wanted to learn how to paint, then start painting. If you love dancing, then go out dancing!

Action step: Make a list of things that you love to do. These could be things that you already do, things that you used to do but don't do anymore or things that you've always wanted to do but have never done. Pick one or two from the list and find a way to start doing them!

3. Believe in you. Believe that you are capable of really having what your heart desires. Believe that you do truly deserve love. Know that you are good enough.....you are worthy! 

Action step: Write down the following affirmation on a notecard: "I deserve love" or "I am worthy of love". Place this notecard in your mirror. Every time you look at it say it to yourself out loud.

Share your experiences below!

Choose at least one of the following action steps listed and do it right away. Share what you have realized or experienced in the comments below!


Lovin' this post?  Click here to sign up for weekly updates!

This article was originally published at JenniferTwardowski.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.

More on relationships from YourTango: 

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Jennifer Twardowski

Relationship Coach

Jennifer is a self and relationship coach and teacher.  She helps women create fulfilling relationships and lives by reconnecting with their true heart’s desires.
She has founded her business on the belief that true healing and peace can come through complete empathetic understanding in both our relationships with others and our relationships with ourselves.
Jennifer Twardowski is the founder of www.jennifertwardowski.com.  Here she helps women improve their relationships with both themselves and others, both personally and professionally, so that they can create lives filled with joy, love, and support.   Jennifer has been featured in Cosmopolitan magazine, TinyBuddha, Elephant Journal, and Purpose Fairy. Click here to transform yourself and your relationships in only 17 minutes with Jennifer's FREE meditation!

Location: Berkeley, CA
Credentials: BS, Other
Other Articles/News by Jennifer Twardowski:

5 Wedding Traditions Worth Ditching


A couple of weeks ago, I was having a conversation about weddings; recent weddings of people I know, weddings that I had been in, and weddings from several years ago. In the midst of this discussion, I found myself contemplating what I would do at my own wedding compared to what others have done (because, you know, what single woman doesn't do that at least ... Read more

The Real Reason You're Trying So Hard To Be Perfect


There have been several periods in my life where I have found myself caught on the perfectionism train and unable to get off.  That one college relationship where I desperately tried to be the perfect girlfriend who never complained or had any problems. That flute solo that I practiced over and over again back in high school because I wanted ... Read more

10 Characteristics Of A Vibrantly Healthy Relationship


We all desire a happy and fulfilling relationship. You know, that partner who is our perfect half who can help bring out the best in us. Unfortunately for many of us, we have been exposed to so many unhealthy and less-than-fulfilling relationships in our lives that we don't know what a truly healthy relationship even looks and/or feels like. Here ... Read more

See More


Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.