#01: I Believed I Was A Victim. I believed that I was a victim of my circumstances. This meant that I was always taking a chance when I walked into a relationship. I was opening myself to vulnerability. In my mind, I thought that I would have to close my eyes and wish for the best—that he didn’t hurt me, that he would stay around, that he would be good to me. This wasn’t the case. I create my life and it’s circumstances through the decisions I make. No one can do anything to me that I don’t first allow them to do. I am not a victim. I am actually a victor, in charge of where I am romantically and otherwise.
This very last belief (#01: I Believed I Was A Victim) was the most crippling belief for me. It amazingly created all of the other beliefs. Ironically, changing that same ONE belief initiated my journey to creating a woman deserving of a healthy, long-term, and loyal relationship with someone compatible. I began with asking one question,
If I'm not a victim, and am in control of my own romantic destiny, then why am I still super single?
This question lead to the twenty-four answers above, or simply stated—confessions. The lesson, simply stated, is that I needed to release those thoughts, beliefs, and actions that never served me well if I want to attract the lifestyle I deserve. And to answer the question that I know you are thinking, yes, I slowly took my own advice and am now very happy—with an abundant love, not just for my fiancé, but for myself. If I had to leave my single black girlfriends with one piece of advice, it would be in the quote by Dr. Wayne Dyer, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change.” If there is something (or someone) in your life that is consistently failing you, first try looking within. You may find that a simple change within can change the entire world around you—including your romantic life. Start today.