Women nurture very naturally. Men can do it with added effort, but I’m of the belief that women have an innate sense of how to nurture. With that, most hours in our day are spent taking care of someone or something. As a woman, if you aren’t careful, you’ll find that your days have flown by and you’ve not left any “you time.” Where do these hours go? Although a selfless gesture to give all of your time to others, actually setting aside time to do what you love is not just an important stress reliever, it’s also important for your soul. But, finding your “you time” is not what I’m here to discuss. Today, I’m speaking to my fellow girlfriends who’ve discovered their passions!
It doesn’t matter what that passion is. It could be writing, dancing, speaking, singing, exercising, building a new business, coaching, starting a new book club, beginning a counseling session—volunteering! It could be anything. All you know is that you’ve found it—or perhaps it found you! When you have finally become aware of what you love to do, it’s an amazing discovery. You rush through all of your other daily responsibilities, in order to make it back to that one thing that you love doing most. Time flies and if you had the option, the day could go by and you’d keep doing what you love, right into the night.
In the beginning everyone is just as excited for you. You’ve acquired the love, support and excitement that only your partner can bring. But then one day something happens! All of that extra love and support you once felt from the man you love begins being replaced with a passive/aggressive bitterness and resentment. All of a sudden your partner begins acting very differently toward you. He starts to complain that you are too busy, never available, that you’ve shut him out, and that all of your energy is now given to what you love, instead of who you love.
And you start thinking about how that you’ve finally found something that you love doing in life and that you don’t want to give up, but you also don’t want the person that you love to feel hurt and abandoned.
At this point, what’s a girl to do???
Simple: You don’t have to give up your passion just yet. You’ve simply got to find balance.
If you find yourself in this same situation, my hopes are that the following recommendations will help to provide you the solutions you need for immediate balance in your own life—between what you love and who you love.
Create an administrative day. I call this an administrative day, but depending on what your passion is, it may simply be a “you day.” Stay consistent with this day to ensure that he begins expecting it and that he is not caught off guard. He’ll learn to adjust to your occupied time in the very same manner that he adjusts to your work schedule. This way, neither of you feels any pressure. And if you really want to make him feel special, every blue moon, give up some time within your administrative day just for some quality time with him. He won’t take it for granted.