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Even If Your Story Stinks, Be Thankful for It

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Even If Your Story Stinks, Be Thankful for It
The Juicy Details Aside, Your Story of Heartbreak May Be the Story Others Need to Hear

A friend once said, “One day you won’t feel the need to tell everyone this awful story”.  She was so right.

I was terribly hurt about 15 years ago, and for a long time afterwards, I wanted to tell my friends, and anyone who would listen, the story.  I guess I got something out of seeing their eyes bulging and hearing their gasps.  They just couldn’t believe that while I was nurturing a newborn baby, and chasing around a 2-year-old, their father was off having an affair with a younger woman. 

More from YourTango: Cry, Admit You Did It, and Find Joy

And, the juicier the details, the better.  My audience liked the drama, and I enjoyed giving it to them.  It was a part of my identity and I wasn’t sure I’d ever let it go.

Thankfully, I did. 

For years now, I haven’t had the need to tell that story just for empathy or shock value.  In fact, I haven’t had much desire to talk about that dark period at all.

I’ve moved on with my life.  I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful blended family and a coaching business I love.  There is so much more to me now. 

And yet, something happened to me recently that made me realize just how much value this story has to others. 

When I published my little “victim to victory” story on a whim one day on YourTango, it took off.  For some reason, this story about a woman who thought she had it all having her heart broken by the father of her children struck a chord with a ton of people.  Before I knew it, it was all over the internet and my phone was ringing like crazy!

What was it about my story?

Let's be real.  Some internet voyeurs just got into the sexy drama of it. They are the ones that want the details like, "How did you find out?"  "What were the warning signs?"  "What did she look like?"  Others on the political bandwagon extracted a few ideological comments I'd written and turned it into a story about who makes better husbands, Democrats or Republicans.  Still other readers used it for their platform to espouse philosophies on how “antiquated” and “ridiculous” monogamy is. 

Most people, however, could relate to the pain and appreciated hearing about someone overcoming it.  It gave them hope!

Women have reached out to me to learn more about how I managed through such a devastating blow.  CNN/HLN asked me to speak about how famous women like Maria Shriver and Holly Pettraeus must feel. Most importantly, the men and women I work with and look forward to working with were given a window to my soul.

More from YourTango: How I Will Survive Valentine's Day Without My First Love

So, the truth is out. This happy go-lucky, energetic and passionate life and leadership coach hasn't always had it all together!   I, like so many of my clients, have had more than my fair share of heartache.

And, yet, despite those hard times,  I found blessings wrapped in adversity!  I came out of it all stronger and wiser and incredibly passionate about my newest chapter in life and the work that I do!

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