Getting divorced can still carry a sting, like something got broken. For me, a stale union disbanded means something has been fixed for good. For my good and the good of those I love. If it feels right, it can't be wrong. Letting go of what no longer serves is such a delicious morsel. You can opt to blame your ex, and feel dumped or sadly used. Perhaps there's joy in that, only you know your truth.
When the ink dried on my divorce decree, I felt glad. When I had loved my ex, there was merit in my marriage. A boatload of tears flowed, washing through the change, healing me. Grief was buried deep, beneath layers of stretch lace, and a pile of old coats. I faced fears, numb and uncertain, watching my belly button to see if the answers would appear like magic. They didn't. It was all far from perfect, to wake up in a life I didn't know, in a town that was new. But I could sprawl across the bed and leave the blinds open to the night sky, and that felt rapturous. A vastness opened between my chest, and oh! the relief of being single once more. Not as a twenty something, obsessed with being liked and the color of my hair, but free as a mature woman.
I was happy to embrace those wrinkles and laughter lines, absolutely alone for the first time in my life. Finding sympathy and compassion in my soul for how I arrived at this moment. Willing to to trying new things, to keep moving forward towards the goodness. My ex found someone new, while I'm still excited to be single, spending my time my way.
Divorce gave me back my voice and my backbone. I'm not saying my ex stole either; I came to the marriage a wounded bird. Once, I believed getting hitched would save me, but my divorce did that. It was a gift.
With independence came choices not made in years. What's for dinner or how to earn a living. The sound of freedom coursing through your cells means no one is waiting for you at home. No more hanging out with people you can't stand, or waiting to leave. Your social life is yours to mold. Will you dance the night away, comfortable in your own skin, enjoying the beauty of being truly you? I do.
It's a long road to joy. Discovering your center can be a challenge. My advice is to take time to sit in your discomfort. Dig deeper into what lies beneath the lies you tell yourself. Let the fog lift long enough to feel the pain that hides in those forgotten pockets. Light your fire, chase rainbows, or simply soak in the tub. Get help, it takes work to let the bubbles rise. Practice gratitude and forgiveness with a strong dose of love to speed your journey.
If you need clarity or a helping hand through the confusion, consider getting a La Chic Soul Power Reading (http://jenduchene.com/services/) and discover the deeper meaning of your life. Joy sometimes needs to be coaxed out of the bottle, and your soul holds the answers.
More Divorce Advice from YourTango: