A new study says that 1 in 10 people feel "stuck" in a bad marriage or wish they'd tied the knot with someone else. Are you feeling stuck, fed up, and afraid what will happen if you make the wrong choice?
So many decisions—which is the right one for you? What will happen to the children? How did your Mr. Right go so wrong?
What helped me enormously is when a mentor shared that there are no wrong decisions, just decisions. Perhaps your marriage is salvageable. Are you willing to put aside all that has happened to sink you to this space of trapped misery and take responsibility for how you feel and what you bring into this home and hearth? Start over with joy? Or does it feel too little too late? Used to be experts espoused the need for children to be with their birth parents together, through thick and thin. Now even those experts admit that staying together for the children is not good for anyone. If your kids are hearing you yelling all the time, they are not feeling safe.
Maybe you are staying together because you can't afford to leave? How will you support yourself? I used to have all the same fears you have. I wanted my daughter to not have a "broken" home and I was terrified to even think about leaving my spouse. I had no idea how I would support myself or survive as a single parent. Truth was, while I was sitting on the comfy couch in despair, angry and hating on my ex, my daughter was suffering in her own hell. Listening to us constantly argue, and getting caught up in the anger that fuelled resentment in the air, was a terrible way to bring up a child. I thought she didn't know, but kids always know way more than we do, before we even know there is a problem.
It took courage and daring for me to admit that I could no longer stay in the marriage. We both knew it was over. We were limping along to closure. He reconnected with an old flame and I withdrew into work...'till that day when he was preparing to go home alone to celebrate a birthday with his family. I told him you can't have a relationship with this woman in front of your family while we are still together. He chose divorce. I was a wreck. What would I do? In total fear, I signed up blindly for help. I got a clearing from a spiritual healer that opened the space for me to cry deeply and acknowledge my fear. After I got over my fright, I made a list of what I needed to get started, and began looking for solutions and help from friends and family.
We have many soul loves—perhaps this one is done. Are you prepared to grow into your bigger self or is it just easier to lie about the comfy couch pissing and moaning in the wind?