Let's talk about sex!
Sex is still taboo on many levels and for most dinner conversation. People pretend real but unless you are in the sex healing business or a sex worker, it is a subject non grata. And yet, there is an elegant rise of tasteful porn for women, the Shades of Grey stimulus package timed to titillate and entangle; Miley Cyrus and other women rocking and shocking with their on stage performances, all proving that women are interested in sex.
Seems like people don't mind talking exploits or hearing salacious details, but they don't want to talk about the gritty personal power struggles that many women still experience daily. Whether it's her disgust at her body glimpsed in the mirror, or her fear of speaking out because she could be silenced for being the 'weaker' sex, the keeping of a woman in her place poisons the well of society with a constant drip. It seems like there are a million conflicting statements about men, women, and the act of sex. Men seem to get a lot of passes about how they behave when it comes to referencing or having sex. At ballgames men scratch their balls. No one says anything. If it was a woman touching her vagina, we would be having a riot on our hands.
Many societies, including the US, give a hall pass to gang rapists, saying men or boys will be men and boys. In certain groups, it's implied that it's an initiation of power. One way or another, by penetrating the shocking "lesson" they are often "teaching" women, in a pack, to know her boss. Coy phrases like "she was asking for it" have yet to be abolished. No one is asking for it when it comes to abusive or forced sex in any shape or form, unless they are seriously damaged. And no one should have the right to play God with anyone's body or mind. I still hear women negating each other by saying a version 'how cheap she looks.'
In fact, many women have a hard time believing that a prostitute would chose sex as a career. Throughout history, there have been mistresses, kept women. That was a career, and often one of the few that gave a woman freedom. Since she was "fallen," she didn't have to swallow the stifling lies society has force fed women, which created fissures about sex, and encouraged a lot of whispering behind hands, and is precisely what has weakened women and children, since women historically raise the world. To be strong we have to be real; if you can't be open about your sexualty, it can be used against you. I don't mean running down the street naked screaming, "Take me, take me!" Just owning up to the fact that as women, we have a need for love, which involves safe intercourse with someone we choose. Our voices raised for every woman may open up a heavenly choir — there is no music in being stifled or imprisoned.
I'm grateful to the Miley Cyrus women of the world. They're doing a public service for women. It may shock and disgust you, but we're human, and we have bodies. Sex stirs up all kind of fear, prejudice and discomfort, but this dirty secret needs a good day in the sunlight. Whatever your personal belief is about sex, it's yours to keep, but in order for all women to be safer, we need to stop shoving this subject under the carpet.
It feels like the world needs some understanding around the very depth of who we are. Used, abused, or worshipped women are not just mothers or innocent children, each one is a sexual being. We each contain elements of the Madonna, child, and Mary Magdalene, and now it's time for society to honor the whole woman. Power does lie in sex, but it's up to us as individuals to claim the empowerment. As a vessel, a holder of light, a healer, a mother, child, daughter, sister, or a lover, as one being, we are fused and whole. Invincible and full of heart. If you splinter us into pieces, we can never capture our essence. The energy, creativity, and life force of a woman is in her womb. If she loses her creative cord, her fire, she isn't a woman, merely an empty vessel.
Empty vessels may fill the shelves, but they will never give you what you seek.
More on Sex from YourTango:
- Sex Stories #119: 'The Night I Roofied Myself'
- Spiritual Sex: 10 Erotic Commandments
- Help! My Husband Is Bored Of Sex