The age old habit of people pleasing is not dead. Women are still trained to play nice, or run the risk of being rejected, in and out of the bedroom.
Is your favorite positon people pleasing style? If any of these scenarios ring true, you might just need a polite power adjustment.
You feel guilty because your orgasm is taking too long. Playing nice rarely has rewards, in real life. If you don’t show you matter, how will your lover respect your needs or get good at making you come?
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You stress about doing it right. Good girls get caught up in worrying about what other people think. Being present is more fun than perfect. Enthusiasm not expertise can cause an impolite orgasm.
Faking it is easier than asking for what you want - because good girls dont talk dirty. if you think your needs don’t matter then you are playing the people pleasing game. Intimacy means expressing your desires, being naked in more than body.
You are not in the mood but you dont want to hurt his feelings. Feeling guilty because you said no, or doing it unwillingly are sure signs the people pleaser is in the room. If you need more romance to get into the mood, or some nights you need time alone, express it. It’s your sex life, create your own boundaries and rules.
You are disappointed because you settled for less. Somehow your partner isn’t the man you want and it is all his fault.. He isnt as handsome, rich or hot as your dream prince in those romance novels you keep reading. People pleasers ironically are hard to please! To be desired, be desirable and show up to enjoy.
You find the wet, noisy messiness of copulation disgusting. Nice girls never get wet. They hide behind multitasking, crafting the to do list to the rhythm of heavy breathing. Focus on being present in the act, you might be surprised how much you enjoy the stimulation.
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Your manipulating mind games are kinkier than handcuffs. Bargaining or laying down conditions for connubial bliss can spill over into every crack of your well mannered life. Being authentic and vulnerable in bed can offer a power that ripples pleasure into ordinary moments.
You may find your people pleasing habits disappearing with every new orgasm.