Does it seem like too much work to fix your marriage?
Maybe you've tried traditional couples counseling and that hasn't worked for you. Maybe your partner isn't interested in doing much of anything, and you're done of carrying the relationship responsibility all on your own.
Whatever your story, I personally know about the pain of a failed marriage and can relate to the stress and overwhelm that you might feel. I want to help you. I want you to understand that it's much easier than you think to shift, and even completely transform your relationship
How do I know? Because I was able to do it in my own marriage and now help couples do the same all over the United States.
It's unrealistic to imagine that you're doing everything you can to improve your marriage. I thought that I was ... until I decided that my marriage deserved more of my focus. What you don't know is that it's the little things that we fail to do that devastate the relationship.
Here are three simple things you can easily do to fix your marriage:
1. Stop All Behaviors That Create Defensiveness And Disconnect In Your Partner
It's highly likely there are things you are doing that are not supportive to sustaining love and connection in your marriage. For example, are you trying to prove that you are more right or that your needs are more important? Are you escalating disagreements, trying to win or have the last word? Is your tone harsh, unkind, sarcastic or condescending?
There are countless ways to sever the connection between you and your partner.
2. Let Go Of Trying To Change Your Partner
You cannot change him/her. However, you can influence him/her by changing your own behavior. You have the choice to show a kinder, more understanding, loving, compassionate, complimentary and appreciative view towards him/her.
Yes, even if you are bitter, resentful and angry about something that he/she did or didn't do from the past, you can still decide to reveal the real you.
3. Decide What Type Of Marriage You Truly Want
This is not as straight forward as it seems, because in my experience most people don't know what they really want. They know that they don't want the stress, they don't want to argue any more, they don't want to walk on eggshells around the other person.
But this is all what they don't want and not what they DO want. Do you want a loving, deeply connected and passionate marriage? Do you want to share life with your best friend? Getting clear about exactly what you want will help you to begin to live that way.
When you stop making the simple mistakes that erode your connection, things can change remarkably quickly. Certainly there are many more things that you can do, but this is a great place to start. These little things will immediately shift the dynamics between you both.
They will also keep things from getting worse between you so that the bigger mistakes don't happen, and your fragile connection can begin to improve.
These things by themselves can also buy you time to get the help you need, or—potentially —COMPLETELY transform your marriage. You have everything to gain by implementing them today.
Remember: Your relationship will always reflect what you do and fail to do.
Jeff Forte CSIC CME helps unhappy individuals and couples learn how to improve their marriages through Skype. Schedule a confidential, complimentary conversation with Jeff here. Find more strategies to improve your marriage in Jeff's book The 90-Minute Marriage Miracle.