Simple Sensual Massage Secrets For Sweethearts 101

couple on floor

A sensual massage is an art. Like most art forms, you want to communicate something with your art.

is allergic too. Please, never pour cold oil directly onto your partner's body!

DO apply the oil to your own hands first, and warm up the oil. You can use a special oil warming device if you happen to have one, however, if you are warming the oil this way be careful that you do not make it too hot. Burns are not what we are going for here. Another way to go is to simply rub your hands together vigorously to create some friction. This will increase the circulation to your hands, simultaneously warming up your hands and the oil, before you glide your hands over your partner's body. Thoughtfully apply your hands and the pre-warmed oil to your partner’s skin through your touch. Generally a little oil goes a long way. However, you may need to reapply the oil to your hands if you notice that your hands are no longer gliding smoothly, or when you get to a new area of the body. The idea is to keep a nice smooth sensual glide going with a minimal amount of oil.

DO pay attention to your posture and body alignment.  Remember that you are not only allowed to enjoy giving this massage, it is a much better experience for both you and your partner if you do. However, you can’t really enjoy it if you are in pain. Take a deep breath, make sure your body is relaxed and that you have a secure stance with your feet. I like to stand with one foot in front on me and one foot behind me, so I can rock or glide back and forth smoothly as if doing a dance during the massage.  Bend your knees, and use your legs to power the movement. If you notice that your back is starting to hurt, or your neck is getting tired, stop and reposition yourself. If you are not comfortable while giving the massage, the quality of the massage will suffer. Be sure to have at least a general plan of how long you want to make this massage last at the beginning of the massage, so that you can pace yourself accordingly, but be flexible enough to modify that plan if need be. You want to send some loving touch into every part of your partner’s body, and you want your energy to be able to last until the end. 

DO the massage very slowly. The first touch is very important for setting the tone, so make sure your partner is ready. Then slowly, lovingly lower your hands to make contact. I recommend holding that initial contact for a moment before you proceed with a very slow and conscious stroke. Most people have a tendency to move way to fast, especially when they are first learning how to give a sensual massage. Remember this is not a race or a sports massage. You are making love to your partner through touch. Glide over your partner’s body slowly, enjoying every curve and detail. Allowing your partner to respond to the sensation of your touch, and pay attention to your partner’s subtle responses. Notice how your partner is breathing, and if you can feel the tension melt away.  Pay attention to your partner’s body language, facial expressions and sounds. Notice if you can feel your beloved relaxing into your touch and letting go. It may help for you to think of the massage as being a little bit like a slow romantic dance.   

DO add some variety to your touch. A little repetition is alright. You do want to create a relaxing continuous feeling of touch that feels fluid and connected. However, you certainly don't want it to get boring. Personally I prefer to mix it up a bit. When I am giving a sensual massage I like to vary the type and quality of strokes to keep it interesting. I might use some deep and connected strokes using my whole hand, particularly on areas of the body that respond well to pressure, like the back and shoulders, even leaning in at times to add some weight and pressure with my body, and then follow it up with some feather light touch, just using my finger tips or very lightly scratching my nails to send delightful chills up my lover’s spine. Experiment with the quality and type of touch and really notice what your partner responds to favorably. Of course when you find a stroke that gets a particularly good response from your partner, you may want to repeat that one, or come back to it often.

DO have a plan for the sequence of your massage. You want to massage as much of your partner’s body as possible, and leave them with a feeling of being balanced and thoroughly pampered.  I suggest that you begin by asking your partner lie face down, so that you can massage the back side of their body first. Perhaps start with the area between the shoulders. Imagine that you are not only relaxing the tension out of your partner’s body, but that you are opening up your partner’s heart, from the back. Then slowly work your way down the back. Give some loving attention to your partner’s lower back and buttocks. At this point you may wish to reposition yourself at your partner’s feet. Don’t underestimate the potential sensuality of a good massage to the feet and toes. Start with one foot, and then slowly work your way up the leg, massaging up to and including the buttock. Then go to the other foot and do in all again on the other side. I realize that this sequence will have you massaging the buttocks twice, once from above and once from below, but I believe that the derriere is worthy of this double attention.  Keep in mind that you are slowly working your way to the middle of the body.

DON’T be in a rush to get overly sexual to soon. The whole massage should be sensual, and playful, but not overly aggressive, and never rushed. You don’t want to skip over parts or get ahead of yourself. Remember your plan. You want the pleasure and anticipation to build slowly and steadily. Also, keep in mind that it just doesn’t feel right if you massage one side of the body a lot more than the other, or forget to massage one foot or leg all together. Do the best you can to distribute your attention well. I suggest thinking of a sensual massage as a slow tease… not as a swift attack.

DO ask your partner turn over, once you are completely done with the back side. Now that your partner is face up, make eye contact. Remember that the intention of a sensual massage is pleasure. Slow, conscious touch is the best approach. Take your time and tune into your partner's rhythm. Massage your partner’s hands, arms, shoulders and chest. Gently massage your partner’s belly. Breathe with them and look into their eyes. Before you are tempted to skip ahead, remember to massage the front of the legs, and pay some luxurious attention to the inner thighs. Stay on course with your plan to get to everything. However, you can pick up the pace and move things along faster, if you get a clear signal from your partner that they are really ready for you to do so. Slowly work your way to your partner’s most juicy bits. Then, if you and your partner are ready to take things in a more erotic direction, lovingly massage your partner’s genitals. Remember to start lightly and slowly, teasing, and building the intensity. Check in with your partner frequently, to be sure that you are getting the right spots, and using the right amount of pressure.

How you conclude this massage is up to the two of you. You may choose to continue the massage with your touch, or perhaps orally pleasure your partner to an explosive completion. However, you may want to stop the massage at the point of blissful arousal, and save some of the energy and fireworks to shift into love making mode. One thing I’d like to suggest, if you opt to take the sensual massage to completion, than consider continuing to massage for your partner beyond the big crescendo. Go back up to your partner’s neck, face, and head. Gently massage these areas as your partner relaxes blissfully. Finally, give your partner a tender kiss on the forehead when the massage is done. Whatever you do, be sure to communicate, smile, laugh together and have fun.



Explore YourTango