Let's visit the foundation of our relationships. Honor should be a core pillar of this foundation.
As an author, I’m forced to consider beginnings all of the time. How do I start a new blog? How do I begin an article for a website? How should I start the next chapter in my book? The beginning of anything is so important. The start of something means you have initiated. You have taken the opportunity to cause the process of doing something. You are introducing something new. The fact you are introducing something means there is some level of consideration in what you are doing.
That brings me back to the point I consider beginnings quite often. In our relationships, we need to consider beginnings and new beginnings frequently. When it comes to relationships with our significant others or our spouses, there should be a foundation of love, honor and respect “in the beginning.” We MUST respect one another in several forms. We need to respect one’s time, attention, space, each other’s place in our lives and most importantly as human beings. We also must love our better half. If the relationship is a long term relationship, there will be love on an emotional level. We need to be able to express our love to one another as well. Become fluent in your man or woman’s Love Language (read The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman).
Those two points of the foundation are important, but the one I want to discuss is the one we often forget--honor. What we want to begin this year is honor in our relationships. Some of the definitions of honor are: high public esteem, to hold in high respect, merit. We have to honor each other in relationships. I know many women who are dating or married who feel like men don’t honor them in relationships. Some women don’t feel honored by their husband or significant other to be the mother of their children. Some women don’t feel honored to be the person who takes care of the household, often because the man takes it for granted that’s what she’s supposed to do—NOT! I know some women who are not honored by men because they are career women. In 2013, we’re changing this mindset. Men, don’t just compliment your wives and significant others. Praise them for what they do in your life in front of others. “High Public Esteem” isn’t about fame or fake praise, it’s about honoring your woman as a wife, caregiver, mother, accountant, mechanic, tutor, lover and whatever one of many other hats she may wear during her day.
Ladies, your men need to be honored as well. Holding your man in high regard in front of others, that’s honor. Other women may be dogging their men, but if you remember that he’s working diligently to take care of you and the family and he’s being the best father/husband/lover/head of household he can be, you can honor him even when he’s not around. The world’s greatest men have all made mistakes, but they have also been honored by their wives. Ladies, I can speak for many of us when I say, the rest of the world may be against your man, at work, in social circles, believe it or not, maybe even at church. You can’t control any of that. The one thing you can do which may help to overshadow the negativity in his life…honor him for who he is. He may not even share with you his challenges or pain. Sometimes, that’s how we men are built. Please be aware, if your husband/fiancée/significant other is assisting in providing for you and your family, he has a lot of weight on his shoulders. If you show that you merit and value his position to you, at least he knows the people that matter most have his back when he may feel life is dealing him a tough hand or the world is against him.
Once a day, let’s remind each other of how we honor one another. A statement like “Darling, I appreciate how you take care of me and the kids,” or something like “My friends are always complaining about their husbands. Apparently everyone couldn’t get an awesome husband like I did!” When we remind them of their position in our lives or mention the privilege we have of being in this relationship together, that’s expressing our honor for one another. Honor each other whether we are around or not. Take the opportunity of this new beginning and New Year to publicly and privately accentuate the positive in your man or woman, they will definitely be glad you did. There’s a resolution actually worth keeping!
© Jarvis J. Hurt/2012