What are men truly seeking?
"When you look at the modern world of dating, what changes do you envision in the future?"
This was a question I asked in an interview I had with Susan Winter, the author of the book Allowing Magnificence: Living the Expanded Version of Your Life.
Susan Winter's Response:
"You're going to like this. As a futurist, the material you're reading now was written 10 years ago. I could see where it was going. Now I'm standing in the middle of it. Some of the books that are sitting in my computer that haven't been released yet are declaring this would happen now. It's 10 years after these books are written and not published. I'm going to tell you the very good news that I see."
Men Seeking the Right Girl
"I hear it from the young guys who talk to me all the time.There are wonderful young men in this world. There is a great gift that we're going to see in the next 10 years that you can't even imagine right now."
Men Seeking a Good Time
"Let's look at it like this. Someone broke into the candy store and all the kids are eating candy. Everything is for free. They're eating as much sugar as they want. They're all having a good time ... What will happen with this open sexuality and no rules? Right now, guys are getting filled. They can have sex two, three or four times ...
They can go back to the same bar and have sex twice a night, maybe with girls who are friends with each other, from what my guys tell me. It's pretty crazy in New York if you're a good-looking guy. With all the sex that's happening, there will be an economics to it. You've heard of the utility factor. If everything is prevalent, everything is easily accessible, it becomes commonplace."
Men Seeking a 'Good Girl'
"I'm finding consistent grumbling in young men and men of all ages. They are saying:
- I can sleep with whomever I want.
- I want a really wonderful girl.
- Are there no wonderful girls left?
This is very important information that women, although it seems like this is the worst time for them to be dating, it will be the best time. The only thing that changes that is that you have to be clear on the course of who you are, live in your power and dignity and don’t give up your values just to function in today's world."
Men Seeking You!
"There is a man who has had his fill of the candy and is looking for you. He is desperately looking for you. Don't let your friends tell you what you should be doing to get a guy to date you. A lot of guys will date you, but that doesnt mean they will stay with you"
Men Seeking Value
Jasbina Ahluwalia: "You are realizing how much it is valued by the guys. I completely agree. From my conversations with men, that is really what they are seeking for the long haul. Those are fascinating insights, Susan. I really appreciate it."
"I think that’s the good news. We're standing in a very difficult time. I know gals don’t want to wait 10 years. I'm thinking it's going to take 10 years for everyone to get sick of this. You have this open field of everyone having sex. Sex happens right away. Forget three dates or a week. It has to happen in the first three dates or the guy is going to bump you off."
Women and Men Seeking More
"If he does, fine. If you don't want that and you want a high-value man, wait for your high-value man. Even for the gals who don’t want that, where this sounds really old school, whatever you want to create with a man, I don’t care if it’s a great weekend or a great summer."
- Put some value into it.
- Make it have meaning for you.
- Don't be less because they can’t be more.
- Never let them make you less than you know you can be.
You’re not going to enjoy it.
Jasbina Ahluwalia: "Absolutely. It's what you infuse in it. Right now in this moment, there are guys who want that high value. That's on men as well as women. I'm big on personal responsibility. If the women are allowing it then that’s also an issue. In terms of seeking that high value, I completely agree that there are men right now in this moment who are hungry for that as well."
The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Susan Winters. The entire interview transcript is at: Susan Winters Interview – Allowing Magnificence: Living the Expanded Version of Your Life. Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Allowing Magnificence: Living the Expanded Version of Your Life – Susan Winters. Listen to the entire interview on iTunes.
Jasbina Ahluwalia is an Indian American Attorney-turned-Entrepreneur, Relationship Expert, Radio Show Host and Matchmaker/Dating Coach. She is the Founder & President of Intersections Match by Jasbina, the only Premier Full-Service Selective Search, Dating / Relationship Coaching & Online Dating Support Firm—For Indian Singles. Jasbina is also the host of Intersections Talk Radio, a monthly holistic lifestyle show – conversations with published authors/experts on relationships and health and wellness. She has received worldwide press (Oprah, Chicago Tribune, Inc., Entrepreneur Magazine) including TV and Video & Radio.
For more information, please visit www.IntersectionsMatch.com. Feel free to submit a Question to be considered for this column to Jasbina directly at info @ interectionsmatch.com. For more from Jasbina's blog: Controlling of Communication, Needy Girlfriend: Don't Be One!, Lower Online Dating Expectations.
This article was originally published at http://intersectionsmatch.com/. Reprinted with permission from the author.