Should I Leave Meeting A Special Someone to Serendipity?


Should I Leave Meeting A Special Someone to Serendipity?
Should I Leave Meeting The Special Someone to Serendipity?


I'm an attractive and successful single woman who enjoys a fulfilling life but am just missing that special guy to share my life.

Over the years, I've pretty much gone about my life with the belief that when I least expect it, I'll meet my special guy. This hasn't quite worked yet - any suggestions?


Since I’m a professional matchmaker, you’ll likely not be surprised to hear that I’m an advocate of being proactive in your love life.

If you felt something missing in any other arena of your life, would you just sit back and wait for it to happen or would you take steps towards finding what is missing? Is your love life any less worthy of your time, energies and efforts?

I'm also an advocate of looking internally before looking externally. '

Consider your needs, must-haves, wants, preferences and deal-breakers.

Examine each critically to make sure you know the difference between what you need and what you want.

Evaluate the basis of each need. Is it based on past relationships, values, priorities, others’ expectations or stereotypes?

Make sure each need truly belongs on that list. Do the same for your deal-breakers. While this process is involved, it will likely save you time, heartbreak and energy in the future.

Then it’s time to look externally.

  1. Are you dating online?
  2. Effectively or half-heartedly?
  3. If you’re posting a photo, is it an accurate representation of the best version of yourself?
  4. Is your profile thoughtful and inviting?
  5. Are you picking online sites strategically?
  6. Are you meeting people in person instead of getting caught up in endless email, phone or text communications?
  7. Are you searching for and initiating contacts?

Have you told everyone in your life to set you up with any single, eligible guys he or she knows?

  1. Why not throw a party with friends at which all guests show up with a platonic friend or ex? This is a great way to meet potential partners in a group setting.
  2. Are you going to singles events or participating in activities that have single men in attendance?
  3. Have you considered hiring a dating coach or matchmaker if your time and energies are limited?

After meeting people, have you been giving them second chances on dates?

Just as you do with all other aspects of your life, set goals and develop an action plan that will help you meet your goal. Place a high value on your love life and take actions and efforts accordingly.

Best wishes!

This article was originally published at Intersections MATCH by Jasbina . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Jasbina Ahluwalia

Relationship Coach

Jasbina Ahluwalia
Founder & President

Intersections Match by Jasbina
Join our Radio Show
Add me on facebook 
Add me on LinkedIn
Follow us on Twitter

To be Considered as a Potential Match for Jasbina's Selective Clients: Create Free Account here.

Relationship Q&A Videos:  Jasbina has numerous Relationship Q&A Videos.

More from Jasbina - Read Her Blog

Listen in every 3rd Monday at 6:00 PM Eastern as Jasbina Ahluwalia Founder of Intersections Match Hosts a monthly show featuring Experts on trending topics on NetIP.

Location: San Francisco - Bay Area, CA
Credentials: JD, MA
Other Articles/News by Jasbina Ahluwalia:

Laughter May Actually Be The Best Medicine


Whether it's a boisterous laugh that comes from the belly or a quiet laugh interspersed with snorting, when we laugh we instantly feel good and want to do it again. What we don't think about is what is happening to our minds and bodies as we giggle, chuckle or roar out in laughter when something funny happens. What is Laughter? Laughter is ... Read more

The Number One Reason Guys Don't Call Back


Jasbina asks Rachel Greenwald, "In your book Have Him At Hello: Confessions From 1,000 GUYS About What Makes Them Fall In Love...Or Never Call Back, you characterize the 'Boss Lady' as the #1 reason men don't call back. Tell us about that. Rachel Greenwald: "I'll tell you all about the boss lady. It's important to set the ... Read more

Are Lower Expectations Really The Key To Dating Success?


Jasbina asks Dr. Diana Kirschner, "In your book Find Your Soulmate Online in Six Simple Steps, you also suggest to readers that they lower their expectations. Tell us what you mean by that." Dr. Diana Kirschner: "It's a very interesting thing. Expectations are tricky, and they set you up for disappointment. That's across the ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.