Should I Leave Meeting A Special Someone to Serendipity?

Question

I'm an attractive and successful single woman who enjoys a fulfilling life but am just missing that special guy to share my life.

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Over the years, I've pretty much gone about my life with the belief that when I least expect it, I'll meet my special guy. This hasn't quite worked yet - any suggestions?

Answer

Since I’m a professional matchmaker, you’ll likely not be surprised to hear that I’m an advocate of being proactive in your love life.

If you felt something missing in any other arena of your life, would you just sit back and wait for it to happen or would you take steps towards finding what is missing? Is your love life any less worthy of your time, energies and efforts?

I'm also an advocate of looking internally before looking externally. '

Consider your needs, must-haves, wants, preferences and deal-breakers.

Examine each critically to make sure you know the difference between what you need and what you want.

Evaluate the basis of each need. Is it based on past relationships, values, priorities, others’ expectations or stereotypes?

Make sure each need truly belongs on that list. Do the same for your deal-breakers. While this process is involved, it will likely save you time, heartbreak and energy in the future.

Then it’s time to look externally.

1. Are you dating online?
2. Effectively or half-heartedly?
3. If you’re posting a photo, is it an accurate representation of the best version of yourself?
4. Is your profile thoughtful and inviting?
5. Are you picking online sites strategically?
6. Are you meeting people in person instead of getting caught up in endless email, phone or text communications?
7. Are you searching for and initiating contacts?

Have you told everyone in your life to set you up with any single, eligible guys he or she knows?

1. Why not throw a party with friends at which all guests show up with a platonic friend or ex? This is a great way to meet potential partners in a group setting.
2. Are you going to singles events or participating in activities that have single men in attendance?
3. Have you considered hiring a dating coach or matchmaker if your time and energies are limited?

After meeting people, have you been giving them second chances on dates?

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Just as you do with all other aspects of your life, set goals and develop an action plan that will help you meet your goal. Place a high value on your love life and take actions and efforts accordingly.

Best wishes!